| Author | Post |
|---|
muncy
Member
|
Posted: Fri Jul 20th, 2007 01:08 pm |
|
GOD IS WITH ME
EMMA IS SITTING ON A LOW WALL PRESSING BUTTONS ON HER MOBILE PHONE. THERE IS AN AIR OF FRUSTRATION ABOUT HER ACTIONS. SHE IS IN HER MID TEENS. CLAIRE ENTERS. SHE IS ABOUT THE SAME AGE AS EMMA AND SIMILARLY DRESSED.
CLAIRE
Hiya.
EMMA
Oh. Alright?
CLAIRE
Am I late?
EMMA
Dunno.
CLAIRE
So, what are we gonna do?
EMMA
Don’t mind.
CLAIRE
Up town?
EMMA
If you like.
CLAIRE
Right, well I’m in for a fun afternoon. Today’s challenge is to get Emma to say a sentence consisting of three words or more.
EMMA
Sorry. Damned thing!
CLAIRE
Have you forgotten how to work it?
EMMA
I’ve lost a message.
CLAIRE
What do you mean?
EMMA
I mean my phone beeped but I can’t find the thing.
CLAIRE
Well, did it say there was a message?
EMMA
What?
CLAIRE
Maybe it wasn’t a message. Did you set a reminder? Meeting the lovely Claire at 2 o’clock?
EMMA
No that could be right. Lovely Claire? I only know one Claire and that’s you.
CLAIRE
Ha ha. Did it just beep or did the display say there was a message?
EMMA
The display said.
CLAIRE
You must have deleted it then.
EMMA
I didn’t.
CLAIRE
Bet you did. Give it here.
EMMA PASSES THE PHONE TO CLAIRE.
EMMA
It’s so annoying.
CLAIRE
(Pressing buttons on the phone) There’s no message.
EMMA
Oh Thanks. I’m so glad you came.
CLAIRE
Nothing there at all.
EMMA
So where has it gone?
CLAIRE
I told you. You must have deleted it.
EMMA
But I didn’t.
CLAIRE
Well OK. (sarcastically) It was a message but not one from this world. It was a sign. That’s it. It was a message from God.
EMMA
Sorry?
CLAIRE
What have you been up to Emma? God wants a word.
EMMA
What are you on about?
CLAIRE
It was a sign. Telling you to repent your sins.
EMMA
Oh I see. Yeah you’re probably right. No reason why God shouldn’t embrace modern technology. Thunderbolts and lightening? Old fashioned. Why bother with all that when you can just send someone a text. Yeah. That’ll be it. ‘Repent your sins’. Actually, thinking about it, it was probably a message for you.
CLAIRE
Ha ha. Very funny. You used to be into all that didn’t you?
EMMA
What?
CLAIRE
All that. Saying your prayers before bed time, Bible under you pillow.
EMMA
Yes, well.
CLAIRE
Come on Emma. Don’t forget I’ve known you a long time. You can’t hide you guilty secrets from me.
EMMA
I haven’t got any guilty secrets. What’s wrong with believing in God?
CLAIRE
Oh, woah. You mean you still do. I thought you grew out of all that.
EMMA
I grew out of Santa. I grew out of the tooth fairy. You don’t grow out of God. He is for real. He is with me.
CLAIRE
He’s with you.
EMMA
Yeah.
CLAIRE
My God Emma!
EMMA
Exactly! Mine too.
CLAIRE
No, no. Not mine. I don’t believe all that. I’m 100 percent atheist.
EMMA
Fine.
THERE IS A BEAT
CLAIRE
Are you not going to argue with me?
EMMA
Why should I?
CLAIRE
Aren’t you supposed to save me or something?
EMMA
Do you want saving?
CLAIRE
No
EMMA
Well, that’s fine then.
CLAIRE
It doesn’t bother you that I don’t believe?
EMMA
Not at all. God doesn’t believe in atheists.
CLAIRE
I can’t believe you’ve kept this quiet. You still get down and pray every night?
EMMA
Yeah, why not?
CLAIRE
It’s just. Well, it’s a bit 19th century isn’t it. Long white nightdresses. Going to bed with a candle.
EMMA
Why would I go to bed with a candle?
CLAIRE
Listen, what you do beneath the sheets is your affair.
EMMA
Funny!
CLAIRE
I mean, how many people do you know your age who still believe in God for God’s sake.
EMMA
I hope everyone believes in God for His sake.
CLAIRE
Stop being funny and answer the question.
EMMA
I don’t know Claire. People don’t talk about it. I wouldn’t if you hadn’t brought Him up.
CLAIRE
This is incredible. I thought I knew you.
EMMA
I’m still Emma. What difference does it make?
CLAIRE
I just don’t know if I can have a serious conversation with someone who believes that we are all descended from Adam and Eve.
EMMA
I never said that.
CLAIRE
You don’t believe that.
EMMA
Of course not. It’s an allusion.
CLAIRE
Oh so you can pick and choose what you believe?
EMMA
You really don’t know much about this do you?
CLAIRE
Shouldn’t you be campaigning to have Einstein banned from schools or something?
EMMA
Firstly, I don’t think there are many people, regardless of how fervently religious they may be, who would argue with the theory of relatively…
CLAIRE
What?
EMMA
I think you meant Darwin, and secondly believing in God doesn’t make me a nutter.
CLAIRE
Alright then. If God exists, why do we have AIDS then? How come babies die in Africa?
EMMA
I don’t know. Perhaps sometimes He doesn’t want to interfere. No one knows.
CLAIRE
That’s the big cop out isn’t. He works in mysterious ways, His wonders to perform.
EMMA
We’re getting a bit heavy here Claire. You brought up the subject. I was just being honest with you that’s all. There’s no need to start having a go at me.
CLAIRE
It’s just all a bit far fetched isn’t it? I can understand people believing all that centuries ago but not now.
EMMA
It’s my choice alright. At the end of the day it’s none of your business.
CLAIRE
Let’s not fall out.
EMMA
Well, lay off then.
CLAIRE
OK. Not another word on the subject. I promise.
EMMA
OK. Good.
CLAIRE
Right. Look, are we going into town?
EMMA
Yeah.
CLAIRE
It’s OK is it. Shopping on a Sunday?
EMMA
Claire!
CLAIRE
Sorry.
EMMA
We go every Sunday. Why are you asking me now?
CLAIRE
Point taken. Come on then. So long as you’ve got the bus fare for two.
EMMA
Why? Are you skint?
CLAIRE
I’m alright. But if you’ve got God with you, you are gonna have to pay his fare. (Emma makes a move towards Claire) Oh sorry, I forgot. He’s over 2000 years old. He’s gotta have a bus pass. (Emma can’t stay angry, her face breaks into a grin as they exit).
CURTAIN
|
Swann1719
Member
|
Posted: Wed Oct 31st, 2007 04:11 pm |
|
Hi Muncy -
I noticed no one had commented on this play. I thought the dialogue was clever and entertaining and I thought the two girls had different voices and personalities and that came across. I also thought it was the beginning of a play. What happens as a result of the atheist/theist split? Does something happen to their relationship? As it stands now, Emma says she still believes in God and Clare is totally fine with it. Conventional wisdom would say you needed conflict to produce drama and that drama needs to be theatrical. But some people don't buy into conventional wisdom. Anyway, they are very likeable characters - maybe you should take it further?
Your friendly neighbourhood
Swann
|
in media res
Member
|
Posted: Thu Nov 1st, 2007 01:20 am |
|
muncy,
Glad swann retrieved this. It shows to go you to look at the entire thread to see what treasures are missed with a new positng in the #1 position.
I loved this. I put on my British accent and read it out loud and I actually had a great chuckle - out loud - several times!
I love the characters. Right now it stands alone fine more as a scene than a play, and that is okay.
I'd love to follow these birds around for awhile! Hope you do more with it. They are great characters to be with.
May I suggest one thing. Jump the ages from teens to late 60's and it is even funnier!
best,
in media resLast edited on Thu Nov 1st, 2007 01:23 am by in media res
|
Edd
Moderator
| Joined: | Sat Jun 10th, 2006 |
| Location: | Denver, Colorado USA |
| Posts: | 872 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |    |
|
Posted: Thu Nov 1st, 2007 12:50 pm |
|
muncy,
I must tell you that in media res' idea for changing the ages is, in my mind, brilliant.
Also, being the Pagan I am, the lover of Gaia and a worshipper of that self-ordained god Thespis the Actor, I avoid reading anything with "God" in the title. But I brushed aside my prejudices and did--and I'm glad that I did. In fact, I read it twice. Once as you had noted and once invisioning Emma and Claire as two older ladies. As teenagers I frankly found it incredulous, but as mature women it worked for me.
Thank you.
~Edd
Last edited on Thu Nov 1st, 2007 03:18 pm by Edd
|
muncy
Member
|
Posted: Fri Nov 2nd, 2007 03:04 pm |
|
Hi All
The characters are originally from from a full length play I wrote, though I've changed their names and personalities a little, and this is actually an expansion of a couple of throwaway lines in that play.
Many thanks for the comments, I am now inspired to revisit and revise. Oh, and I love the idea of making them old ladies; that goes in for sure!
Last edited on Fri Nov 2nd, 2007 03:04 pm by muncy
|
Paddy
Moderator
|
Posted: Fri Nov 30th, 2007 06:39 pm |
|
Muncy, this is really good. I like the older women idea too.
Two points. If found it difficult to believe these were really close friends, who didn't know each others religious views. It might have worked better for me if they were getting reaquainted after some time apart.
The moment she admits she's still interested in God, was a bit too easy for me. Had she hedged a bit, and the friend guessed without saying, it would have felt more real.
Other than that, a really solid scene. The characters are well defined. I think you could carry on with this as well.
Nicely done.
Paddy
|
muncy
Member
|
Posted: Fri Nov 30th, 2007 09:15 pm |
|
Thank you for the comments Paddy. I am developing this further, I've gone with the idea of them being old ladies who have known each other a long time but are not that close. One knows the other goes to church but thought it was out of habit rather than any real religious conviction.
I've almost finished the first draft of a full length play based around these characters, and to be honest, I've drifted away from the religious element. I'm wondering now whether to drop it or find a way to make it a recurring theme. The joy of being a writer, how we can meddle with our creations lives!
I've had a lot of fun with it and thanks for everyone for the encouragement.
|
Current time is 06:18 am | |
|
|
|
