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Nate88
Member
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Posted: Mon Dec 17th, 2007 07:22 pm |
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Is this…It? by Nathan Birkinshaw. A bench, askew at the far right. A girl represented by A sits there, quietly. man represented by B comes out, dressed entirely in black, clutching a paper, wearing a hat so his face is masked by shadow. He sits next to A and places his hand on her thigh, she looks up and smiles with a familiar unknowingness towards B. There should be a silence for over a minute, with just the back story playing out with there eyes, and bodies, finishing with her turning away from B.
B: is this; is this how it is going to be?
A: Not if we can leave.
B: to where, im sure you have exhausted all possible destinations around this continent and the next!
A: there is more, im sure on the next one.
B: it’s all the same places, all the same faces im sure.
A: im not.
B: your naivety lightens my day, but we must/ go back
A: go back?
B: im not sorry.
A: im not sorry…Kiss me; let me know its real this time.
B: let you know what’s real?
A: the reason you want me to come back.
B: was it not real last time?
A: it was heightened, like a Greek tragedy, the crowd believed it, but I, the actress in this messed up world, this game of chance... never did. I played along, to get to the second act, to get to the third act to ultimately get to the prologue. What I want to know now is…/
B: what?
A: is this the last scene?
He embraces her, kisses her, Lights down.
Last edited on Mon Dec 17th, 2007 07:23 pm by Nate88
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Paddy
Moderator
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Posted: Wed Dec 19th, 2007 05:11 pm |
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Nate.
This is good. Lovely. Ambiguous...keeps you guessing...I love the minute of body speak. Very nice.
Her rant is really good...short...but good. A nice contrast to the short dialogue that surrounds it.
You should submit this.
Paddy
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Nate88
Member
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Posted: Wed Dec 19th, 2007 05:22 pm |
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Thank you Paddy,
every bit of work i do, and i am sure you and others have noticed are short. I dont know why, I cant seem to bring myself to drag things out longer than 5 pages, and keep ending things very abruptly or bring them to a sweet close.
Im, still only young and learning so any advice would be excelent.
erm stupid question but...where should i submit this?
Nath
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carlblong
Member
| Joined: | Sun Feb 11th, 2007 |
| Location: | Manassas, VA, USA |
| Posts: | 64 |
| Status: |
Offline
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| Mana: |  |
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Posted: Wed Dec 19th, 2007 08:47 pm |
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I have a similar problem, Nate. I can't seem to get much over about 10 pages, and when I do, it's usually because of revisions. I have a draft of a "full-length," but even that's 50-some pages -- not even an hour.
There are a number of one-minute or one-page play festivals out there; none I know of at the moment, but keep your eyes open for them.
This group is looking for plays under 7 minutes:
http://collaboraction.typepad.com/sketchbook/
Best of luck!
- Carl
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Nate88
Member
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Posted: Wed Dec 19th, 2007 11:29 pm |
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its a bit late for submissions i believe Carl, also being British and still a student theres not much I can do festival wise (partly being most have past!) but thank you anyway and thank you for offering a helping hand, much apriciated! :)
and as for my longest, me and a friend both co-wrote a screen play something of 90 plus pages...though because its now this long I have lost all patiance for cutting it, revising it, and editing it. plus back then i worked with some stupid format that noone will take because at that time i didnt know people only work with stupid formats!!! grrrr. plus that was then and i feel i create more structured, witty, and intellegent work now as apposed to some hell bent gangster movie where everyone dies for no reason. Ha.
longest stage-play is about 20 though and its still a first draft, and i have become quite brutal with editing recently so stuff i can work with within that is less than 5 probley!
good luck too!
Nath.
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Paddy
Moderator
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Posted: Thu Dec 20th, 2007 01:26 pm |
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Both of you, go to the new announcement, Asphalt Jungle Shorts....
Paddy
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