| Author | Post |
|---|
Martin H
Member
|
Posted: Sat Mar 1st, 2008 08:01 am |
|
{the old joke about the man set watching in the distance for a fire on a mountain, the last of a relay of them running from Troy to Argos, intended by Clytemnestra as a signal to give her advance notice of Agamemnon's return from Troy the play is about the events leading up to the Oresteia, from the view of the firewatcher}
FIREWATCHER'S WAGES
"We'd heard your fame as a seer
but no one looks for seers in Argos"
Aeschylus, Agamemnon
Robert Fagles tr.
"I wa-wa-wa-want you like the rich want wa-war
So ho---old me darling like prisons hold the poor."
Sheilah Gostick
Noli me tangere, for Caesar's I am,
And wild for to hold, though I seem tame.
Thomas Wyatt
Act I
Flames Leap Mountains From Troy to Argos
Scene i Heraclitus Firewatcher Brilliant Noses
[the first light onstage is a tiny glow like a candle flame, but fixed, above a wigwam shape with sticks protruding, on the backstage wall left
further points of light over stylized bonfire images will appear at intervals throughout, until they form a complete row
stage lights begin to come up slowly]
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER
Awake! stay awake, a year awake! you tell me that's not excessive
A dog's life? not by a long shot, dogs sleep all the time
Wake at the slightest unexpected sound or flicker of light
Wake up and yap like a Barbarian on cue
[stage lights fully up on an otherwise bare stage heraclitus firewatcher, with a few possessions gathered about him, stands by a wigwam-
shaped bonfire just waiting to be lit another light flickers up on the wall behind]
Brilliant nose a dog has! might even sniff the blaze
Starting up on a miles-distant hill but that's never been tested
My damn luck, I'm not a dog, I have hands not paws
Opposable thumbs, you need that to hold a torch
Set a fire going to match the fire in the distance
Not to mention how few dogs speak excellent Greek
See what I mean? as you hear me speaking it now
The better to bring the news to our faithful Queen ho ho
What she has in mind for Agamemnon I've heard the rumours
I wouldn't wish on a dog but shh! (fingers to lips)
I might on a King
Scene ii Heraclitus Philosopher beneath skin, above bone
[a man enters wings left, in tattered once-white toga not unfamiliar with holes, and begins to speak out aggressively at the apron
of the stage]
HERACLITUS PHILOSOPHER
intelligence damped and sickened by green paper colour of mould midas it seems is your epitome of earthly success because his touch was instant death to the daughter he loved above all human creatures? i'll grant you, she made an impressive statue had he been a sculptor, known a few friends who resembled the gods, his curse might have served some function statues of gold, colour of mead-darkened piss, more godlike than the gods because he starved, every bit of food he tried to eat turning to useless gold? donkeys are brighter than that, they know garbage at least is edible, gold is just too tough a chew
haven't heard medusa celebrated the same way women had it rough in my time as well
do you imagine croesus diverted the river to right and left so the stream in the middle would no longer be impossible for his soldiers to ford? his money, his implements, many slaves of his purchase and some few skilled workmen in his hire, carried out the work of hands but the work of mind, without which the rest, bold solid streams of mead-darkened piss, would have had no effect, was thales' money is not mind, it has no power apart from the skill deployed in its use (and we thought we were overloaded with gods of our own election, no earthly function in 'em) no value at all if hoarded and stockaded, then it chokes and kills
name a shoe for running after a goddess of swift intelligence, confusing the fiery rapidity of thought more than humanly supple with the gangly fleetness of sweat-reeking ankle, instep and heel (what a lovely libation to offer the goddess that caps their toes!)
claim to know the river you step in is not the river you stand in (any phrase can be turned to gabble it seems) but don't know you who step there are a river coursing vertically beneath skin, above bone, ceaselessly changing, well? (some that only half learned this found a sudden panic as they stepped into the river dissolved their skin carried them rushing away on the current, one with the current, one with the undertow and gone to the grief and astonishment of loved ones and strangers watching from shore
[darts off wings left, pops his head back]
if their bones were ever found i never heard of it)
[exits completely]
Scene iii Heraclitus Firewatcher A Fixed Reliable Commodity
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER
Don't mind him, we get philosophers all the time coming by to harangue the populace, it's a fulltime occupation among us Greeks Not always that well-paying as you can see, though there are those do all right by teaching Diction, vocabulary, sneaky ways to fool people in an argument mostly This one has the same name as me, Heraclitus and I quite like him Not very social, I'll grant you that, says his piece and then off, not nearly as personable as Diogenes but between the aggression in his voice and the challenge trying to riddle out what his speeches mean, he's useful for keeping a body awake Some of the others could put you to sleep so fast and do I need that? Like I need to forfeit my life on the gibbet or the chopping block (Shivers) Our local chief axeman? gives me the creeping willies I'm sorry but if you've just severed permanently the relationship between a man's head and body, you don't say to the mob of drrols and leers panting looking on "It's been a slice" Hemlock you say? That's for a higher class of gent
A knife in a dark corner, extrajudicial? that'll happen
Bold to speak out as these fellows do when you think
How permanent a silence the wrong word can buy you
I do find the more I hear this one speak
The more sense I discover in his words
Some I can't make hide nor hair I'm told these philosophers in their trance states
Sometimes look deep into the future, you'd lose your present day audience there
As if the past and present aren't more than enough mess to deal with!
I tried once you know, stepping in a river?
Sure seemed like the same river when I was standing in it
Even when I stepped out, rivers are a fixed reliable commodity
Compared to human life as it flows out its course
My son among the fallen at Troy? we had messages at irregular intervals
Until three years ago or a little more, since when dead silence
Not a word from him, no other messengers will tell us anything
Sparing our feelings I expect, prize method of accomplishing that!
Confirm our worst fears almost and yet leave hanging
Above our heads on a thin string like Damocles' sword
The fraying hope that if he's far less a hero than Achilles
His prospects of survival at least are better
Not so it seems though perhaps. . . I can't sleep thinking about it
That was a joke, though a bitter one I admit
Last edited on Wed Mar 12th, 2008 01:20 am by Martin H
|
Mary Alice
Member
| Joined: | Mon Feb 19th, 2007 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 145 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |    |
|
Posted: Sun Mar 2nd, 2008 10:30 pm |
|
This is food! More, please. And, thank you.
Mary Alice
|
Basso
Member
| Joined: | Fri Feb 29th, 2008 |
| Location: | Canada |
| Posts: | 76 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Tue Mar 4th, 2008 01:11 pm |
|
Hey, Martin. Is it churlish of me to want to see capitalization? Just wondering. I found your formatting awkward, therefore, I felt disinclined to read what you wrote. I suppose you are writing it in Epic style, so maybe I am unfamiliar with that way.
I sure like the idea of a fire watcher, and what he must go through in order to fulfill his task. It is like a metaphor for modern day America, expectation followed by overkill, followed by lassitude. Kind of like football. LOL It must be tortuous to stay awake so long, to have such responsibility on one's shoulders. I have trouble staying awake driving, let alone watching for a flicker of light. You started off so well, but then you began talking about a dog's life and opposable thumbs. It stopped the feeling I was getting of how frigging tired this fellow must be, and yet how he must, at all costs stay awake.
"intelligence damped and sickened by green paper colour of mould midas it seems is your epitome of earthly success because his touch was instant death to the daughter he loved above all human creatures?"
My god, language is such fun, isn't it, now what the hell does the above mean. ;) It sounds perfectly delicious, but it confounds my understanding...which just might mean that I am a dullard.
I think you have an awesome idea, and the feel and tone is good, too. I just wanted to get interested in the fire watcher first, before I heard about Agamemnon
and such. You have some great ideas and language, though. I wish I could write something steeped in history, but I seem to lack the attention to do the necessary study.
Cheers, Basso
|
Martin H
Member
|
Posted: Wed Mar 5th, 2008 10:31 am |
|
I'm somewhat inventing the style of this play, and might switch things eventually. I've noticed in verse that periods at the end of lines are redundant since the line break has the same effect, and spacing and following with a capital in the middle of the line adds an inflection to the flow (or am I imagining it?) and thought it might be worth trying as a steady technique in a play written in verse. Heraclitus Philosopher's noncapitalized style was insisted on by him as an accurate reflection of his normal speech.
Thanks for your comments, both of you. I'll try to catch up with your posts and some others and see if I can return (even if in advance) the favour.
I'll post the next passage I type into my files, Mary Alice, as soon as it's up. We've had two days of birthday celebrations during which I've had no free time for such matters.
Cheers, all.
|
Will Kemp
Member
| Joined: | Thu Feb 14th, 2008 |
| Location: | Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 76 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Sat Mar 8th, 2008 01:46 am |
|
You can never step in the same river twice -- is that what Heraclitus said?
Martin, here is my first impression of your scene. I may give you a second impression tomorrow. These are my first random impressions:
1. I love the theatrical opening image of bonfires multiplying.
2. I liked the pause after this line:
". . .haven't heard the medusa celebrated the same way" [pause]
3. This is a strong line:
". . .but the work of MIND. . ."
However, the line length should end on the word mind to signify stress on the word mind. I hear a stress on the word when I read it.
I agree with Basso, that you need to do something about the typography. The best book on typography for playwrights, on writing in general, that I ever read [lately] is John Basil's brilliant book for actors, Willpower (2006). According to Basil, the typography in the First Folio of Shakespeare is intentional, and that the line length and Capitals, meter, rhetorical devices etc. are all intentional cues for the actor. If an actor is aware of the "code" in the typography, he knows how to act the lines.
Basil's book is a great manual for playwriting, if you ask me.
4. The idea is good, but the phrase does not go with the character or work for me:
"mile-distant hill. . ."
This hyphenated adjective reminds me of the hyphenated adjectives in Greek plays and in Homer. Translators make up these hyphenated words when they have a problem translating Greek language..
5. Things that grabbed my attention:
a. The wigwam image of the bonfire. I am aware of the similarity between Heraclitus' theory of opposites and the Native American "principle of opposites" [See J.T. Garrett's books on the Cherokee philosophy.] I also see another possible connection to Native American philosophy in the negative images of money, the green paper etc. The word "wicca" is found in both Native American language and Celts, and Celts have many affinities with the Greeks. Are you deliberately establishing a connection between Greek and N.A. philosophy?
b. The difficult images on stream and bloodstream were very interesting to me. I was actually quite enthralled for a moment when I read the part about the person drowning and disappearing from the view of watchers on shore.
It seems to me that you are expressing the idea of identity as a matter of blood that can never be lost [another Native American idea], but can be temporally displaced when we loose our connections to kin [the watchers on the shore]. I may be totally wrong about what you want the images to convey, but that is what they mean to me.
I think you have some great ideas going in this play. However, you only have a few seconds to get across a line to an audience. The audience does not have time to dwell upon a line like I can as a reader. I like the drowning image because I got it immediately.
Hereare some ideas that your play inspired: I see the Heraclitan opposites emerging in opposing images [moldy green paper versus gold, water versus fire, male versus female.]. There are four ways to express opposites in language, according to the philosopher who built his own ideas upon Heraclitus, Aristotle. You might check out Aristotle's Categories, in which he describes these four classes of opposites. The imagery in Greek plays and poetry breaks down into the four classes of opposites.
But this is something known only to nerds who read Aristotle.
|
Martin H
Member
|
Posted: Sat Mar 8th, 2008 07:48 am |
|
There's more than one translation of the Heraclitus line. The one I favour is as given here: The river I step in is not the river I stand in. (As far as how close this is to Heraclitus' original, this is guesswork at a remove on my part, since the original is Greek to me. It does seem the most succinct expression of the idea in English.)
I wasn't consciously thinking of the parallels you mention in using 'wigwam' as a description of the bonfires. It struck me as the description that would give the clearest picture of what I intended. I was thinking of the teepees in the film Little Big Man, which are its most potent visual metaphor for the native world view as the only solid element in Jack/Little Big Man's chaotic life experience. This is partly ironic because the fires once lit will spread chaos (though that works directly as well, since the burning eliminates that solid, stable structure).
You're right about the need to pinpoint the word 'mind' at the point where you mention, but the comma was intended to do that with a half pause, rather than the full pause or period indicated by the two space breaks. I thought perhaps a full break would be too dramatic? but I'll think about the suggestion.
Interesting point about 'miles-distant hills', though I wasn't thinking about translations from the Greek in using it. The main point, here as elsewhere, is that the language has to match the speed of the idea itself as it races through the mind.
I'm still pondering the typography, though it ought to be obvious simply from the strangeness of it that I'm trying to do precisely what Shakespeare's did, indicate how the lines should be read. You can see from the scenes posted from Beggar's Banquet in Critique My Play that what I'm doing here differs considerably from my normal practice. I have reasons for every choice I've made, but they came to me after the fact-- I began writing it this way because it seemed the most natural way to keep with the flow.
Thanks for your comments. Obviously a close and attentive reading. I'll bear them in mind.
|
Martin H
Member
|
Posted: Sat Mar 8th, 2008 06:42 pm |
|
{As I earlier promised Mary Alice, more, now that I've got it typed into the system}
Scene iv Olive, Heraclitus Firewatcher, Orchidous Marvelously Subtle
[he looks up at the sound of a voice]
OLIVE(sings, off right)
Ti-----me is an eel or worse
[enters midstage right]
Ti-----me sends you wriggles of grey
[he rises at her approach she is carrying a lunchbox]
Ti----me stings your fingers if you grasp it
Ti----me slithers leagues away (pauses in her approach)
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER
Tic toc tic toc tic toc tic toc
[she starts walking towards him again as he also approaches]
OLIVE(sings)
Ti-----me is a pendulum swinging
Ti-----me makes a speedy arc
Ti-----me swings from dark to daylight
Ti-----me swings right back to dark
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER
Tic toc tic toc tic toc tic toc
[they stand, eyes locked, about a foot apart]
OLIVE(sings)
Ti-----me is a rapid racer
Ti-----me hasn't got no shoe
Ti-----me runs its course quite blindly
Ti-----me takes no thought of you
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER
Tic toc tic toc tic toc ti
[they embrace and kiss]
What have you brought for lunch?
OLIVE
Seven mouldy olives
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER
Your namesake?
OLIVE
My name is not now, and never has been, mould Hard black bread, don't mind the mud and sawdust where I dropped it, the bread itself is worse, hard as a rock and less tasty Water from the stream flows past our house, sorry about the pollution from upriver a little where they threw in all the hacked and bloody corpses
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER
And that's what a loving wife brings her husband for his midday meal?
OLIVE
If it's all her husband's salary will stretch to, yes Wouldn't even have that if I didn't stroll the streets of an evening in search of male erectile custom
ORCHIDOUS
[a bearded man who has been observing, downstage right, an undisclosed length of time voice a high tenor, almost a low alto]
She's deceiving him, we've set spies on her and discovered nothing but chaste occupation on her part at whatever hour So in another sense, she's not deceiving him
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER
[who's been rummaging in the lunchbox]
Feta cheese mixed with chopped chives, pimento and diced olives Some black as their namesake's pupils, others green as the irises of her eyes
OLIVE
My eyes are another green altogether, husband
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER
They are, but emeralds can't be eaten Wood oven baked unleavened bread
OLIVE
Partly leavened
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER
The old leaven the bread a little so it only slightly rises trick
OLIVE
To rise too much is to arouse envy and suspicion amongst our betters Even in bread and other baked products, it's best to observe a mean between extremes
ORCHIDOUS
She's a sensible woman, good steady influence on the whole If she compromised his attentiveness of course, we'd forbid these visits 'tween 'em
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER
Grapes pressed and concentrate, in a mini-amphora
[takes mini-amphora out of lunchbox olive has already brought two small stemmed glasses from amongst heraclitus' paraphernalia he unstoppers and pours the two retire behind the wigwam/prospective bonfire to enjoy wine and lunch]
ORCHIDOUS
There are parties at court and I'm of Clytemnestra's party Currently the only visible one at court, since our Queen considers support for Agamemnon disloyal And he doesn't know how power tips on its balance and that he needs allies when he returns But the dispositon of almost the lot is opportunistic, if Agamemnon sees what's coming, evades the fate she's arranging and smashes down Clytemnestra! her present loyalist will melt away into Agamemnon's party Not me, I'm loyal to the death and I can assure you, not only mine if the day comes
They call themselves of Aegisthus' party for very pride, who would be ruled and directed by a woman? but Aegisthus is an empty toga Does she defer to him merely for sake of form or does she love the inadequate creature? perhaps one part of what's under his toga is fleshed and firm
One of my tasks is to watch the watchman here Others I can delegate, I have spies in the same number as a spider has legs and control them to the same degree I know the webs spun whee! and control their spinning even when my agents believe, as they all sometimes do, they weave crosswise to my purpose
[they rise, embrace she backs away a few paces then turns to walk off left, he watching the whole time, she looking back over her shoulder more than once]
Some tasks, and this is one, I need to keep within grasp of these eight fingers, two thumbs Marvelously subtle these thumbs arranged crosswise to the fingers! make possible our grasp and manipulation of all manner of extensions mechanic, opening the world of matter like a jewel box to psyche's forceful pressure Open and use the mind-machinations of lesser men by the slightest thumb pressure
[approaches the firewatcher as he waves a long last goodbye to olive before she exits wings left]
Scene v Orchidous, Heraclitus Firewatcher Drawing Your Sword at a Puffball
[turning his gaze reluctantly frontwards once more heraclitus, at orchidous' approach, does a double take]
ORCHIDOUS
How goes the watch, friend? I hope you're not neglectful
It's a high trust you've been given and after all you're paid
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER
Very badly
ORCHIDOUS
Commensurate, yes, with your worth and station in life
Rise by diligent effort which is almost impossible or better yet
Return to the year of your birth, find a noble womb
To house your embryo, then you'll have treasures, prerogatives
Equal to even your exaggerated pretensions 'til when
Take gratefully what's given, no ideas above your station
(Aside) There isn't room for two social climbers on this stage
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER(aside)
He forgets he has to project to the gods
I can overhear quite easily
ORCHIDOUS
Something's in the air
Change on the way, I can sniff it
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER
Woof woof!
ORCHIDOUS
What's that? have a care
Insubordination's proved fatal to men more worthy than you
Since ages and ages, long before you were born
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER
And somehow I missed that! wasn't I paying attention?
ORCHIDOUS
And will to many more, long after you're dead
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER
You and me both (aside) I love to needle him about that
Has ambitions to be a demigod and immortal
Hates to be reminded
ORCHIDOUS
Have a care! You'd be gone long since
If I weren't, Zeus knows why, so fond of you personally
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER
A cat can look at a King! or a Queen! a dog even
ORCHIDOUS
A cat may look at a dog but if the dog looks back it runs!
HERACLITUS
What if it's a lion?
ORCHIDOUS
[with some effort bringing a long burst of laughter under control]
W-w-what if it's a lion? Heraclitus
I can never stay angry at you very long
It would be like raging and drawing your sword at a puffball
Twirling in air, even if it secreted itself in your nostril
Bear in mind if you ever get too far up my nose
I'll pull you out with no second thoughts
Toss you limp, wet, lifeless on earth's receptive bed
What if you're a lion? there are rabbits roar louder than you!
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER(stung)
Hmmp! well they'd have to be seriously overgrown rabbits
ORCHIDOUS
That they would, no doubt Well good day to you!
Well done, good and faithful servant and all that nonsense
I have far more urgent and pressing duties calling me away
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER
[after orchidous has exited stage left]
You heard what he said? commendation, is that food and drink?
Did you hear a single word that could be remotely construed
As the promise or teensiest small hint of a raise in pay?
After one full year! when not a wink of sleep has passed my eyes
[yawns looks about fearfully]
ORCHIDOUS(off)
Keep it to yourself, please, friend
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER
How could you hear that?
You aren't even in the scene anymore
ORCHIDOUS
The walls have ears
And every single one of them owes me money
[the last word echoes fainter and fainter]
Last edited on Wed Mar 12th, 2008 01:31 am by Martin H
|
Mary Alice
Member
| Joined: | Mon Feb 19th, 2007 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 145 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Sun Mar 9th, 2008 01:34 am |
|
Sweet, formal, funny! No changes, just, more, please.
Mary Alice
|
Will Kemp
Member
| Joined: | Thu Feb 14th, 2008 |
| Location: | Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 76 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Wed Mar 12th, 2008 12:56 am |
|
Hi Martin. ..
I read the scenes again, and it read better the second time around: I can tell now that you did organize line length to indicate how to read the line. The very first speech in the first scene read fine today. . .the line lengthwas compatible diwht the meaning. The character of Orchidous comes through his speech, I think.
I like the foreshadowing of violence to come, when H. says he has heard what Clytemnaestra has in sore for her husband, and the mention of stabbing. That's because I like violence in plays.
Do you know my neighbor?!! She has a Tee-Shirt that reads, "Do your thumbs oppose?" She sells them on her medieval lit. website, elfinspell.com, to raise money to pay for the websie.
Greta
|
Martin H
Member
|
Posted: Wed Mar 12th, 2008 01:12 am |
|
If verbal evocation of violence is enough to satisfy you, there's plenty more to come. More than enough to confirm Archilochis' assertion in his long second act song that 'The planet of the war God is the third not the fourth one' (from the sun). I follow Aeschylus' lead though in evoking rather than directly showing violence. Diogenes speaks later (I'll see if I can post more soon) of seeing a field three miles by five strewn with corpses so that not an inch of soil could be seen. Apart from the impossibility of doing it on the stage, I'm not sure a visual evocation of that could match the verbal image. I'm not going to test it out either; I don't know nearly enough people who'd be willing to die to test out the point.
Anyway, cheers, and thanks for your comments.
|
Martin H
Member
|
Posted: Wed Mar 12th, 2008 01:27 am |
|
Scene vi Heraclitus Firewatcher, Archilochus Sneaking up on a Body
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER
[after he's settled himself into a cross-legged position]
It's a living--barely! The work's neither varied nor interesting
Not what a child with invincible illimitable
Prospects (it knows no better) would dream of in life
But we age it seems into fixed immutable positions
How do we break the rock embeds our destiny?
Minimum wage would be food, rags, shelter also? (waves hand dubiously) I'm freeborn
Thank Zeus, and never been taken as spoils from a sacked and ruined city
Who'd take me for a slave anyway? not worth the price of a shackle
Sworded and tossed in a heap to feed roving dogs
Those'd be some sleek and contented dogs
Ever see a city sacked and pillaged? awesome bloodwork
Lightning quick surgery with opposite effect
Argos is spared that, Troy might have fallen sooner
While our son yet lived our son is dead?no
I won't believe 'til an onsite eyewitness confirms
Soldiers live through wars soldiers live through wars soldiers live through wars
[draws in a succession of long breaths]
I'm freeborn thank Zeus, they're obliged to pay me something
And an hourly wage adds up if your work's fulltime
In the strictest possible sense, a year by this stickpile!
Still no signal in black smoke red fire from the nearest mountain
Nearest of the line crossing islands and mainland
Backward from Argos to Troy in view of each sentinel
The fire code means a city gutted and ravaged
City aflame? flame city! celebrate a mass of death
Plunder in bulging hold the ships sail home
Nearer the inner chamber of his thrice-splendid court
Where Clytemnestra chisels and finishes his destiny
I'm no kibitzer, if Agamemnon plays his cards right
If by his bluff alone, he may win out at poker in the end
But that's a spec
[his eyes begin to blink, slowly, rapidly, head begins to nod, jerks it up suddenly, looking both ways in animal terror, not seeing the approach from behind of a man with a lyre strung over his back eyes begin to blink, rapidly now slowly head sinking forward slumps into his chest abrupt snore cut off in the middle tap on his shoulder jerks him suddenly and quakingly awake]
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER
[when he's blinked full awake and recognized archilochis]
Don't you know it's dangerous sneaking up on a body?
What if I'd had a knife? What if you'd had a knife?
What if your catsoft approach had stopped my heart suddenly?
I'll tell you what! they'd need a substitute quick
Put you out here in my place, see how you'd like that
ARCHILOCHIS
An elephant approaching from behind
Woluld stomp as near and you'd not hear its tread
Unless as leaden footfall in your sleep
Sough with its trunk along your near-gone hairline
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER
I beg to differ, I was wide awake
Deceived you into thinking I was napping
Startled at your approach? don't make me laugh!
Have you got anything, a potion, lotion
Something that fizzes and sparkles in water glass
To help a body wake? Has no one yet
Found out in Afric's darkness coffee plant?
ARCHILOCHIS
Nothing but new fresh song for lyre accompaniment
A tune as rollick as a pirate's deck
Shall I unleash my lyric muse to rouse you?
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER
A plan so antic it might e'en succeed
You know I love your music Archilochis
ARCHILOCHIS
[sings, with accompanying strums of his lyre, which sounds suspiciously like ro;bust guitar fingering and picking from some point
offstage and out of sight]
Zeus was a God and a God was He
And He seeded the Nymphs and He seeded the Sea
He conquered as a Bull and he conquered as a Swan
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER
Leda bore twins, Helen and our fair Queen
Clytemnestra, Agamemnon's bride?
ARCHILOCHIS(annoyed)
And you wouldn't believe how he got it on
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER
Where, thought you, came the lightning in her eyes?
ARCHILOCHIS
[double plus annoyed, forces his concentration to sing]
And you wouldn't belieeee
Ve how he got it on
[speaks]
Friend Heraclitus if you interrupt
This song so new compos'd and freshly learnt
I fear I'll fault on ev'ry bar and line
So belt it if my song you care to know
Or I'll off, leave 't for a fairer day
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER
Backstory Archilochis! think this crowd
Knows King or Queen from cheese wheel 'mong the Greeks?
I must a scrap or two of information
Pass on at intervals, besides it's pleasant
To portend earn'd disaster 'mongst our betters
The highborn swat the lower sort like flies
Yet cannot flee from snippy scissor'd Fate
I'll interrupt no more, nor make a sound
'Less laughter forces ope these twain my lips
ARCHILOCHIS
Fair bargained and well measur'd sir, where was I?
[composes his thoughts, touches tones from the lyre experimentally at last, strums, sings]
Zeus was a God and a God was He
And He seeded the Nymphs and He seeded the Sea
Aphrodite fro;m the foam of the Sea was bred
But He had another daughter in His Head
[with a lift of his fingers invites accompaniment]
HERACLITUS/ARCHILOCHIS(sing)
Yes He had another daaaugh
Ter in His Head
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER(sings)
Zeus was a God and a God was He
And He seeded the Nymphs and he seeded the Sea
ARCHILOCHIS(sings)
Nine months in his forehead Athena hid
'Cause He fucked His brains is what He did
HERACLITUS/ARCHILOCHIS(sing)
Yes He fucked his braiiii
Ns is what He did
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER(sings)
Zeus was a God and a God was He
And He seeded the Nymphs and He seeded the Sea
ARCHILOCHIS(sings)
From above HIs eyes rose Athena full grown
So it's plain to see as I'm sure you'll own
The brains of Athena and you and me
Were all produced onanistic'ly
HERACLITUS/ARCHILOCHIS(sing)
Were all produce ooooo
Nanistic'ly
Zeus was a God and a God was He
And He seeded the Nymphs and he seeded the Sea
He conquered as a Bull and he conquered as a Swan
And you wouldn't belieeve
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER(sings)
No you wouldn't belieeeve
ARCHILOCHIS(sings)
No you wouldn't belieeeeeeee
HERACLITUS/ARCHILOCHIS(sing)
Ve how He got it on.
ARCHILOCHIS
It seemeth me this ten years' war 'twixt Troy
And the amassed naval might of Aechaea
Proceeded endwise crack't from double egg
Implanted featherways by Zeus in Leda
Helen who faithless launch'd a murd'rous fleet
Clytemnestra who nurses healless wound
Iphigenia in virgin bridal white
Deceiv'd was led to altar and to knife
Helen must Menelaus chase, recapture
Sails must have wind, wind cried for blood soaked earth
HERACLITUS
Enough! How oft must we rehearse this matter?
ARCHILOCHIS
Till we without book can recite our lines
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER
Pity poor Iphigenia! deceiv'd
Her gown a winding sheet after other hopes
No groom at altar only whetted blade
Blood copious pours as blood had lately stain'd
Her childish linens at first womanheed
Not Hymen marks the feast, Persephone!
Blood copious as a mother's vengeful tears
Cupp'd into fire-sped arrow tips
Aim'd at the executioner's treach'rous heart!
[he has poured in two small glasses for himself and archilochis
the last of that lunchtime amphor of bright crimson wine]
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER
Pity Iphigenia!
ARCHILOCHIS
Pity Iphigenia!
[they tap glasses]
HERACLITUS/ARCHILOCHIS
Skol!
[they drain each at a swallow
archilochis, lyre strung on back, departs]
HERACLITUS FIREWATCHER(mournfully)
Zeus was a God and a God was He
He seeded the Nymphs and He seeded the Sea
[pensive he sits cross-legged and broods]
Daughters and sons on Troy's bloody altar
Scamper on youthful feet down winding path
To Hades' shadowed unforgiving realm
[he looks up and sees another shabby-togaed philosopher approaching]
Last edited on Sat Mar 15th, 2008 11:24 pm by Martin H
|
Will Kemp
Member
| Joined: | Thu Feb 14th, 2008 |
| Location: | Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 76 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Sat Mar 15th, 2008 01:23 am |
|
OK Martin, I'm involved in this scene between Arch. and H. Firewatcher. It ready pretty easy. . .I took a few notes.
I liked the references to Agamemnon's destiny, and especially the line,
"How do we break the rock that embeds our destiny?" However, I first thought of a pebble in a hoof, because I used to clean my horse's hooves out. But then I realized that you were referring to the knife.
I liked the phrase about Clytemnaestra chiseling and finishing his destiny. However, I think the word "finishes" is weak. "Chisels" is good. . .
You continue using the knife imagery throughout the Arch/Heraclitus encounter, and that's good. When you referred to the knife used to sacrifice Iphigenia however, I immediately substituted the mental image LABRYS, because the labrys, or two-sided knife, was used to sacrifice victims. [I don't know if this two-sided ax was used on people or animals or both, however. It may not be historically accurate.]
I used the image of the labrys in my "Greek play" already, so if you ever notice that image, I thought of it FIRST!!!!!!!! I like it. [My play is about an insane man who sacrifices a child while operating under a psychotic delusion. It is based on a true crime that I followed through the court system. I think that the crime story is analogous to the story about Ajax. In the play Ajax, Ajax sacrifices sheep under the delusion that they are human enemies. I actually had the idea of using the case for a play before I read Ajax. That reveals the universality of myth, I think.
Somebody said, the only instinct greater than the sex instinct is the desire to edit another person's play! I forget who said that. Anyway, I mentally substituted "labrys" for knife in your Iphigenia scenes.
Why is Agamemnon's court "thrice-splendid"????
The song "Zeus ws a God was very funny.
The image of the "healess wound" struck me as a good image.. It is almost a cliche, the wound that does not heal, but it fits Clytemnaestra, in my opinion.
Skol? What does that mean??? School?
IMPORTANT: I noticed something important in your explanation of the difference in prose and poetry. You pointed out that prose passages have the characteristics of the sentence and the paragraph expressing one idea, one thought. However, what happens if you meter the lines in the paragraph? Then you get a passage like Shakespeare wrote. I noticed he uses metered paragraphed speeches in all his late plays.
Regardless of whether he uses meter or not in these "paragraphs", he saves the "punch line" until last. There is a LONG, COMPLEX sentence or paragraph with tons of punctuation -- BUT NO PERIOD. John Basil calls the actor's attention to this. There is no period in the long speech, which has a punch line at the end that provides a super stress to the idea that the paragraph is building up to.
That is, he put a stress at the end of a line, and he put a super stress at the end of the "paragraph".
I'm learning all sorts of chit about writing from Basil: Those dang actors know more about writing than playwrights.
Well, Martin, I marked speeches by Othella and Ophelio to give you examples, but I can't find my copy of Shekespeare. I hide it to keep my dog Arthur from chewing it up and now I can't even find it. But you can look at any of his late plays. . .I haven't checked the early ones . . .and you will see the long paragraphs without periods, and with a punch line at the end. I noticed you had a little punch at the end of one of Heraclitus's speeches. Make it a big fist?
|
Martin H
Member
|
Posted: Sat Mar 15th, 2008 05:07 pm |
|
Skol is a Swedish toast. It means skull.
Maybe 'completes' instead of 'finishes', since it doesn't alter the number of stresses in the line.
"Thrice-splendid" because Heraclitus Firewatcher needs a meter-filling phrase with a little grandeur and can think of nothing else on the spur of the moment. Either that or he's a zealous partisan of his own city-state. It's intended as hyperbolic versiflage either way.
I'll come back to this in greater detail later--running to a gallery show this afternoon.
{Back}
If the labrys is a two sided axe I wouldn't use it, both because of the established pattern of knife imagery you mentioned and because, though I don't think Agamemnon was ever described as a model of sensitivity and delicacy, I can't quite picture his using a sacrificial weapon more appropriate to an ox on his daughter.
Will think further on your other comments.
Last edited on Sat Mar 15th, 2008 11:35 pm by Martin H
|
Current time is 04:15 am | |
|
|
|
