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Martin H
Member
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Posted: Thu Mar 13th, 2008 12:43 am |
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Are You Thick or What?
(A man and a woman occupy adjacent stools at a bar.)
MAN
So I'm chatting up this smouldering chick at a bar for over an hour, making pretty good progress I think when she suddenly says to me:
WOMAN
How long have you been married?
MAN
I'm not married whatever gave you that idea?
WOMAN
Separated? You've got quite a groove indented on your ring finger.
MAN
Oh right! separated of course I'd forgotten.
WOMAN
Tricks of the mind. You really want to sleep with me don't you? (He nods.) All right here's what I'll do. I'll come back to your room, we'll share intimate fluids and in the morning I'll track down your wife and tell her what happened. Maybe even show her videos, I always have technical equipment on my person. If you're separated, no harm done except good luck if you were hoping for a reconciliation. If not I'm going to give her a whack of practical advice how to wring every penny out of you in a divorce settlement. Still want to sleep with me?
MAN
Sounds great! just like that, no strings attached.
WOMAN
None I haven't mentioned, are you thick or what?
MAN
That's for me to know and you to find out. Long story short, night of monkey gymnastics like you wouldn't believe and do you know what that bitch did the very next day? I trace the entire collapse of my marriage to her actions that day. What makes a person do something like that, right out of the blue?
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