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ohdear
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| Joined: | Tue Dec 5th, 2006 |
| Location: | Australia |
| Posts: | 114 |
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Posted: Sat Mar 15th, 2008 01:27 am |
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Lights up on a bedroom scene. Two people are sitting on the bed. Bob (32) glasses, dressed in a white singlet and striped pyjama bottoms. Hannah (25) dressed in a flannelette nightgown.
Hannah: How do you feel?
Bob: With my hands.
Hannah: No….how do you FEEL?
Bob: Nerve endings, fingertips, brain impulses.
Hannah: No, no, no, NO….. how do you feel?
Bob: Oh, you mean, how do I feeeeeeeeeel? Hungry.
Hannah sighs and rolls her eyes. She stands up and spins around and places her hands on her hips.
Hannah: How do I look?
Bob: (not looking up) With your eyes.
Hannah: (reposturing herself) How do I LOOK?
Bob: Well, to be more precise, your brain interprets the data that it is fed to it from the optic nerve, which is an upside down image of what the eye sees.
Hannah: No, no, no, No…..How do “I” look?
Bob: (glancing in her direction a look of realisation crosses his face) Well not very well, without your glasses on.
Hannah shrugs her shoulders and sits back on the bed.
Hannah: Can you smell that?
Bob: Did you fart?
Hannah: (Looking exacerbated) NO! Can’t you smell that lingering essence of potpourri that hangs in the air?
Bob: Are you SURE you didn’t fart?
Hannah: BOB (shoots him a LOOK) The essence of rose petals, frangipanni and jasmine.
Bob: Now you are become delusional. Farts smell nothing like jasmine.
Hannah gets up and walks towards the door. Then she hesitates with her hand on the door knob.
Hannah: Can’t you just taste the thrill in the air, that anticipation, that loaded, luscious, lingering delight?
Bob: What are you talking about woman?
Hannah: That wafting delicious aroma from next doors kitchen, cant you just TASTE it already?
Bob: I cant taste nothing but a cocky’s cage. I am desperate for a coffee. Would you bring one up with you when you come back?
Hannah turns around and walks toward the bed, hands on hips.
Hannah: I’ve had just about ENOUGH of your blindness. Your analytical, self centred, unfeeling, inappropriate, stagnated, cocky crap.
Bob: Did I say something to upset you?
Hannah: What does it SOUND like?
Bob: Oh, that’s EASY. You sound like a raving lunatic. Can we eat now?
Hannah storms out and slams the door behind her.
Bob shrugs his shoulders and picks up the newspaper to read.
Bob: (sighs) Sensitive.
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Paddy
Moderator
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Posted: Sat Mar 15th, 2008 10:34 pm |
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Nice. Succinct. Funny & frustrating.
In a very short time, you really get a lot of information about who these two are.
Paddy
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creativeslime
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| Joined: | Mon Mar 17th, 2008 |
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Posted: Mon Mar 17th, 2008 03:12 pm |
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I agree with Paddy, there is real room for comedy in this. I like how you reincorporated ideas, How do you feel? How do I look? I like the status play that never really becomes personal because they are communicating in different worlds which allows for him to end off in saying, “Sensitive.” We don’t end up hating either of them and we can carry on with our merry little lives having met this couple, the two of them probably being together till they die and still not ever getting each other.
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ohdear
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| Joined: | Tue Dec 5th, 2006 |
| Location: | Australia |
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Posted: Tue Mar 18th, 2008 05:23 am |
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Thank you for your wonderful feedback. I didnt realise this work was so DEEP. I was just having some fun with the senses. Seeing it through your eyes brings me to a whole new appreciation.
Thank you Paddy for this thought provoking exercise.
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muncy
Member
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Posted: Tue Mar 18th, 2008 07:37 am |
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The first time I read this it seemed like a list but when I imagine it performed I realise that it really does work as a piece of imaginative theatre.
Well done. Well done indeed.
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scenedreamer
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| Joined: | Thu Aug 3rd, 2006 |
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Posted: Tue Mar 18th, 2008 10:23 pm |
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Excellent!
sd
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