| Author | Post |
|---|
creativeslime
Member
| Joined: | Mon Mar 17th, 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 3 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |  |
|
Posted: Mon Mar 17th, 2008 02:29 pm |
|
(Inside an office a man (Roger) and a woman (Mila) are sitting at their cubicles. Roger is busy peeling a mango with his fingers. He manages to peel it completely, his pride turns to anger, he proceeds to search around the room with disgust.)
Roger: Help!
(She jumps back, startled, almost falling off her chair)
Roger: I need a dustbin this is a matter of importance!
Mila: (Frustrated) What is?
Roger: That I get rid of this ruffian!
(Mila lifts her dustbin suspiciously over the cubicle)
(He drops the fruit into it splattering some of it onto her face. She gently places the dustbin down and begins to wipe her glasses off methodically not breaking eye contact with him.)
Roger: Ah! You know the problem with mangos is today? It’s that they no longer have the manners that their fruity forefathers did. It’s all about looking the part, having the I-Pod in their little mango ears, ignoring the world and constantly throwing tantrums when they don’t get their way. They just want to be hip! And..
Mila: Fly?
Roger: Well I’m not horribly sure if the insects as a species have the same problem with discipline but..
Milka: No the word is fly, not hip. Hip is very outdated, as is cool, slick, foshizil dizzil, and down.
Roger: Down is out? What if you die and you say stuck in some sort of limbo, the only way of getting anywhere is on an elevator. As far as I know you would then be limited to two options, either up or..
Milka: Down is out.
Roger: So you would be forced to go up thus sending you to heaven where you would be bored out of your mind with nothing to do but make large multicolored paper mache animals and drink bottomless lemonades which would, after some time, lead to death once agian, due to lack of stimulus, finding yourself in the same situation and only being able to pick..
Milka: Up.
(They both sit in silence coming to terms with this revelation)
Roger: Well then when it’s my turn to go I will just ask to go upwards in reverse!
(Milka tries to make sense of what Roger just said)
Roger: Shut up!
Milka: (Jumping up and grabbing a tiny plastic pot plant as protection) Excuse me!
Roger: Not you, that freaking mango! And don’t you dare try and crack my skull with that. We all know she has not been feeling well after the “incident.” I feel you should press charges I mean she must feel so violated. Going on holiday where the sun don’t shine, and that with someone outside of our department! They should be shot, point plank, in the back of the head with a shotgun filled with small sponge pellets dipped in stainless steel.. Shut up!
(He stands up and moves to a corner trying to ignore what is bothering him, eventually he cannot stand it anymore and walks over to the dustbin forcefully smashing his foot into the mango repeatedly. All the while his facial expression remaining relaxed and neutral)
Roger: “Under da sea, under da sea!” They all love that damn movie and insist on bursting out in song at any random time of the day! I swear if I had my vintage bowling ball carry bag with me this never would have happened! I must apologize for my outburst I just don’t like being embarrassed in front of strangers..
Milka: Roger I have worked with you for five years..
Roger: Exactly and after taking all those photos of your house I still do not know why you put the dish drying cloth next to the cutting board, if only you know how unhygienic that..
Milka: What pictures?
Roger: Listen to that!
Milka: What Roger?!
Roger: Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, after the untimely demise of that irritant “Mr. Singing loud and noisy goddamn mango” Isn’t it nice to have some silence?
(They both sit down take a moment to listen to the nothingness in the room)
Milka: Its .. actually is rather nice..
Roger: I told you.
Milka: Thanks Roger, your pretty shweet
Roger: Shweet is out
Milka: It is?
Roger: Afriad so..
Milka: Ah shit.
(They both get back to their work)
Last edited on Tue Mar 18th, 2008 01:29 pm by creativeslime
|
Paddy
Moderator
|
Posted: Mon Mar 17th, 2008 02:56 pm |
|
Loved this.
Don't know what else to say, just loved it. Completely and beautifully insane.
Thanks.
Paddy
|
ohdear
Member
| Joined: | Tue Dec 5th, 2006 |
| Location: | Australia |
| Posts: | 114 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |   |
|
Posted: Tue Mar 18th, 2008 05:34 am |
|
Insane, truly insane, mind numbling, twistedly insane.
The mango was very lucious.
Now we KNOW just exactly what goes on at the office.
|
muncy
Member
|
Posted: Tue Mar 18th, 2008 07:34 am |
|
Great imagination.
Loved "small sponge pellets dipped in stainless steel"
Thanks for posting.
|
Deirdre
Member
| Joined: | Tue Mar 18th, 2008 |
| Location: | British Columbia |
| Posts: | 31 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Wed Mar 19th, 2008 11:43 pm |
|
Lots of fun! Not that I could make a lot of sense of much of it, though I don't think I was supposed to...or am I?
I really liked how you employed the sense of sound with silence. That's pretty mango.
hahaha
d.
|
Current time is 03:34 am | |
|
|
|
