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solarcirclegirl
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| Joined: | Wed Oct 17th, 2007 |
| Location: | Conway, Arkansas USA |
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Posted: Sat Nov 3rd, 2007 02:19 pm |
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I just dashed this off this morning after consulting some of the cookbooks I had around the house. I liked this format, but it's a bit long. It goes to the second page of the file. I was thinking I just need to get all the indregients listed side by side in a column under the description (you know, like the ingredients in a cookbook usually are). There's some redundancies but I want to try and keep the twist ending (that the pastor is actually interested in Abigail's son as a romantic interest, not the daughters of the other women). I wasn't sure how much information I should add in about the characters as well. I was planning on having the big info about the characters on the cast breakdown sheet. But this might be the only thing the theatre requests. There's something wierd and different about each of the ladies involved. Any suggestions would be great. Thanks a heap you guys.
CHURCH BASEMENT LADIES CASSEROLE COOK-OFF
SYNOPSIS
By Toni Wilson
Prep. Time:
Cook Time: 37 minutes
Serves:
Description: The arrival of the new pastor at CHURCH NAME causes a great romantic stir in the Church Basement Ladies group at the church. Each woman attempts to get her daughter to be seen as a romantic interest for him, with questionable results. In the end, the least likely of the Church Basement Ladies looks to be the one whose child the new pastor is interested in.
Ingredients:
3 Church Basement Ladies and their daughters:
1. Ruby and Naomi
2. Elizabeth and Stephanie
3. Lorraine and Olivia
1 Church Basement Ladies President and her son:
1. Abigail and D.J.
1. New, young, handsome and single pastor, Pastor Ray
1 Dream of marrying a pastor
1 Dream of becoming a nurse
2 Other dreams
1. Being a nun (for Naomi)
2. Becoming a chocolatier (for Stephanie)
Directions.
1. Mix all four Church Basement Ladies from the time they were born with the dream of marrying a pastor. Have none of them marry a pastor but have them retain this cherished dream for their children (except Abigail because she doesn’t have a daughter).
2. Mix Abigail, Ruby, and Elizabeth together until they are the best of friends.
3. Add in Lorraine and her frightened, shellshocked daughter, Olivia, which causes friction for all involved.
4. Enter Pastor Ray, the new pastor for the church, who is handsome and single.
5. Have each of the Church Basement Ladies fall all over themselves attempting to introduce her individual daughter to him as a romantic interest with questionable results.
6. Add D.J. to the mix for more questionable results.
7. Bake at 425 degrees until top is golden brown and insides are creamy and hilarious.
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Proboscisbunny
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Posted: Sat Nov 3rd, 2007 03:08 pm |
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This is what my instinct tells me. It's a great idea, but the way you have it it's too long and difficult to follow. I don't want to work (I'm quoting feedback I've received myself ;) Just give them a taste - pun intended ;) And don't give away the end!
I loved the "Add D.J. to the mix" line, but thought the second half "for more questionable results" was you commenting on your work, putting it in a bad light. Let them make their own judgements - they will!
It sounds like a fun pay! Have a fun synopsis to match it! Great thinking...
Vanessa
CHURCH BASEMENT LADIES CASSEROLE COOK-OFF
SYNOPSIS
By Toni Wilson
Cook Time: 37 minutes
Description: The arrival of the new pastor causes a great romantic stir in the Church Basement Ladies group. Each woman attempts to get her daughter to be seen as a romantic interest for him, with questionable results.
Ingredients:
3 Church Basement Ladies and their daughters.
1 Church Basement Ladies President and her son.
1. New, young, handsome and single pastor, Pastor Ray
Dashes of dreams - marrying a pastor, becoming a nurse, a nun and a chocolatier
Directions.
1. Mix.
2. Add D.J. to the mix.
3. Repeat step one.
4. Bake at 425 degrees until top is golden brown and insides are creamy and hilarious.
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kris
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Posted: Sat Nov 3rd, 2007 03:34 pm |
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Wonderful idea! I agree with Vanessa that the recipe needs tightening. For the "Serves" part of the recipe, you might put "A theater audience" or something along those lines. Sounds like a fun play. I hope you'll post it on site.
kris
p.s. And "prep time" could be rehearsals??
Last edited on Sat Nov 3rd, 2007 03:36 pm by kris
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solarcirclegirl
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| Joined: | Wed Oct 17th, 2007 |
| Location: | Conway, Arkansas USA |
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Posted: Tue Nov 6th, 2007 02:36 pm |
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thank you both for your input. i usually write really really long and drawn out and then tighten it later. I'm much better at it than i used to be, but I know I always have to take a shear to my work.
I'll post the play soon also. Thank you guys.
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scenedreamer
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Posted: Thu Nov 22nd, 2007 03:38 am |
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Hey what a great idea. Needs a little tightening, but a terrific idea.
I would add, "Serves a standing room only audience" and maybe top if off with "Goes well with thunderous applause and standing ovations."
FUN
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in media res
Member
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Posted: Sat Nov 24th, 2007 08:59 pm |
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solarcirlcegirl,
I would find it simply charming if all your characters - especially the ladies - have food-related or food based names. It could even spread into cooking utensils or anything to do with cooking.
You already have two: Lorraine and Olivia.
Why not keep it going? Example off the top of my head: Rosemary; Honey, Sugar, Pam (the cooking oil) Cassie (for casserole) Lettie (for Lettuce) Or even Lettice (taken from the terrific play "Lettice and Lovage.")
Anyone have any other examples?
best,
in media res
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solarcirclegirl
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| Joined: | Wed Oct 17th, 2007 |
| Location: | Conway, Arkansas USA |
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Posted: Sat Nov 24th, 2007 10:12 pm |
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that's a good idea i will keep in mind.
also, i did post the whole play as well so please take a look at it when you have time.
Thanks. :)
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