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spiny norman
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Posted: Wed Jan 2nd, 2008 03:57 am |
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i read somewhere (maybe here) that if you have a twist in your play, you should reveal it in your synposis and not just say, "you'll have to read the entire script to find out!"
i have two plays with surprises in them and am reluctant to include them in the synopsis because i want the reader to have the same experience an audience would have when coming to the story for the first time.
after reading these, would you be more inclined to ask to read the whole play to find out what happens or would you be less likely to request the entire script because you think it's a cheap ploy to get your attention?
"Cannibals Alone"
Drama
Full-length, Single Set, 4 Female
The play is set in the very near future when a deadly disease is
ravaging the country. All citizens are required to submit to periodic
blood tests and those testing positive are immediately taken off to a
"Quarantine Center." In response, an Underground Railroad-type of
organization has sprung up to help those trying to escape the Medical
Police and flee to Canada.
The action is set in a rented cabin somewhere in the woods of the great
American Northwest. Rae and Mags, friends since childhood, have become involved with escaping "runners" since Rae's brother George (who was suffering from the disease in hiding) was turned into the government and taken away. In the course of the play, they receive two visitors - Callie (in Act One) who has just broken out of a
Quarantine Center and Val (in Act Two) who has tested positive but who
has escaped the Medical Police before being taken away.
These two visitors have unknowingly picked the wrong time to come by as
the relationship between Mags and Rae is beginning to fall apart. Rae,
who is committed to continuing her involvement with runners even to her
death, has just discovered that Mags has been sneaking into a nearby
town to seek the company of others. Caught, Mags confesses to wanting
to give up their work in order to live a safer, more normal life.
Rather than concentrating on helping their guests, Rae and Mags instead
manipulate them in an attempt to sway each other into going along with
their own desires.
Just when you think you know what's going on, however, there is a
devastating twist that will have you reconsidering all the assumptions
that you have made about the situation and the main characters...
"Red Herrings"
Comedy/Thriller
Full-Length, Single Set, 3 Female, 3 Male
Psychic Madame Lacy Eugenia is using her "gift" to find the kidnapped
grand-baby of a local millionaire despite Sheriff Buckman's belief that
she is a fake and her information comes not from beyond the grave but
from her best client, his mother. Her efforts are interrupted by the
arrival of her estranged daughter Sophie who is on the run from her
abusive boyfriend Eddie. When Eddie shows up, things are bound to
get...complicated. Even the presence of Lacy's long-time companion, a
stage magician and ventriloquist known as "The Amazing Vic" isn't enough
to keep Eddie in line. Baby, baby, who's got the baby...and who's going
to find her and collect the reward?
This clever thriller follows in the tradition of "Deathtrap" and "The
Sting."
thoughts?
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leon
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Posted: Fri Jan 4th, 2008 08:47 pm |
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hi spiny. and is that your real name?
the first play sounds interesting, but i would do away with the last paragraph. i would bring the reader to the point of the big decision, but not tell the reader which choice was made.
the second play sounds wonderful. i'd like to read it someday. just love the idea of a comedy with fake psychics and mediums. i think that synopsis is pretty good as is.
one thing i would add is i know when writing a synopsis, you'd like to include all the characters. but sometimes that does make the reading a little confusing. which is another good question for synopsis writers. do you try to include all the characters and a little about what each wants, or do you stick with the most intriguing storyline, and try to get your reader's attention, using as few character descriptions as you can?
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katoagogo
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Posted: Sun Jan 6th, 2008 04:46 am |
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Whether or not you reveal a "twist" -- you must be concise with your synopsis. Right off the bat you've got "The play is set in..."
Right off the bat I'm not involved because those are extra words that do not need to be there. Of course it's a play, of course it's set somewhere, of course there are characters and twists. You don't need to say it.
Leon's point about the names of the characters along with descriptions are also extra words. Character descriptions will be covered on the page with the character descriptions.
Ruthless economy is the key to creating an interesting and vital synopsis.
What if you started it like this:
"In the very near future a deadly disease is ravaging the country. All citizens are required to submit to periodic blood tests and those testing positive are immediately taken off to a Quarantine Center. Operating out of a cabin in the American Northwest, lifelong friends Rae and Mags have become involved with escaping "runners" ever since the death of Rae's brother after he was sent into quarantine. ... "
While we're taking about synps, there's a difference between a general description or brief synopsis, and a full synopsis. For most circumstances the general description or brief version is called for. In that case, withholding the major plot twists is essential. For a full synopsis all of the major plot movements should be noted, including the conclusion and any relevant "twists".
The synopsis for Red Herring is much more concise and therefore more vivid. I would take out the word "clever" though. Word's like "clever" or "hilarious" or "masterful" are judgement calls that are best left up to the reader. I think it makes a bad first impression to blow your opinions about the play at the reader. Let the play do that for you.
I hope this helps at least a little.
Best of luck getting the word out --
--KatoLast edited on Sun Jan 6th, 2008 04:55 am by katoagogo
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leon
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Posted: Mon Jan 7th, 2008 02:22 am |
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"Leon's point about the names of the characters along with descriptions are also extra words. Character descriptions will be covered on the page with the character descriptions."
yes, i agree with pretty much everything kato says. i got the impression that spiny was trying to give the reader an idea of what each character wants (and tell the theatre age/sex/type for casting) but it detracts from the story.
in screenwriting they teach you to pitch the script. you have to memorize your pitch and be ruthless as to how brief and powerful you can make it. you have to make your listener (in less than a minute) say, "I must read that script."
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katoagogo
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Posted: Tue Jan 8th, 2008 02:51 pm |
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When talking about twists or surprises, that sort of language is better suited to a brief bit in your cover letter. It will read even better if you are recalling things that others have said about this play -- especially people who have attended a reading of the work.
This is one of the ways that readings can be very valuable. It gives you an opportunity to glean outside opinions about the work. By mentioning this sort of thing (in one or two sentences) in your cover letter you accomplish two things: you establish that work has been tested; and you drop a hint that n audience was engaged by the work.
I put together a couple musings about cover letters that can be found in the Playwrights Zoo archive:
Letter Rip Part 1: http://playwrightzoo.blogspot.com/2007/08/under-cover.html
and Letter Rip Part 2: http://playwrightzoo.blogspot.com/2007/08/letter-rip-part-2.html
Not everyone composes their letters the way I do, but I've had a lot of success getting theaters interested in my work after sending an unsolicited query pack -- so maybe there will be a point or two that are useful.
I think I'll be musing on synopsis writing very very soon at the Zoo.
--Kato
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katoagogo
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Posted: Tue Jan 8th, 2008 04:15 pm |
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Also -- here is a link to a thread about character descriptions that might be helpful:
http://www.stageplays-forum.com/forum9/1198.htmlLast edited on Tue Jan 8th, 2008 04:16 pm by katoagogo
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Steamboat Chambers
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Posted: Fri Feb 22nd, 2008 05:26 pm |
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I agree with Leon. The second one will stand strong as is, I believe. We meet everyone and learn about the plot in a very short amount of space. That plot grabbed my interest. You're on to something good there. I too would love to see that play on the board to read.
I had one question you may like to consider. In the line that follows...
Psychic Madame Lacy Eugenia is using her "gift" to find the kidnapped
grand-baby of a local millionaire despite Sheriff Buckman's belief that
she is a fake and her information comes not from beyond the grave but
from her best client, his mother.
...I assume the mother is Sheriff Buckman's, not the millionaire's.
Cheers,
S.C.
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IanFraser
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Posted: Tue Feb 26th, 2008 04:54 pm |
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Just my two cents worth - I kind of feel that ones story should stand on its own, when selling it, regardless of the twists and turns contained within the plot.
Being overly concerned about the selling of the 'surprise twists' in the plot, in some ways is to be almost suggesting to companies that your story isn't good enough, in your view and that there are additional 'gimmicks' that you're telling them about, to make it seem 'better' somehow. (Not that surprise twists are 'gimmicks', by any means) - but it almost conveys a sense of not trusting in the value of your story to start with.
If your story/dialog/plot is great, then the additional cherries on the cake (surprise twists etc) will get found by the theatre companies reading the scripts - and don't need to be dangled in front of them, as some kind of additional inducement to read the work..
/my two cents worth :)
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