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IanFraser
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Posted: Tue Apr 17th, 2007 11:42 am |
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I wrote this piece a few months back, and gave it that title - and then put it to one side as just too creepy and violent for me to deal with.
Concept: An armed nationwide insurrection and slaughter is about to erupt, partly beginning in schools.
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"PUTTING THE FUN BACK INTO SCHOOL SHOOTINGS"
DARKNESS.
After a moment, the Teacher enters - using a torch - the only light source. He carries a bag, which we cannot see at the moment. The beam moves around the stage, slowly. We see a small desk. On which is a small US flag, a globe, candle, some matches and pieces of paper. To one side is a large video screen.
A match is struck, lighting candle, illuminating the teacher as he sits at his desk, he also lights a cigarette, which he’s taken from a pack, and stuck in his mouth. TEACHER There's something delicious about an empty classroom, you know? All buildings, tend to talk to us - I mean if you stand in most empty buildings, and clear your mind, and just wait and be quiet - you can slowly begin to hear the quiet voice of the building, as it mumbles to itself. The little grumbles and coughs as it moves gently in the wind, adjusts its nooks and crevices to find a slightly more comfortable position on its foundations, the soft creaks as it stretches languidly. That's the normal sound of architecture.
And different buildings have a different 'voice' almost. The quiet of office buildings is very different to the quiet of public monuments. And neither sound like schools. Empty schools sound like, empty theatres. There's a strange sensation in both of them of … 'waiting' or 'anticipation'. Of 'potential'. Theaters and schools don't have the usual atmospheres of murmurs and grumbles of regular buildings, instead they feel.. poised in some way. They're waiting. You can feel it, they're actively tensed up and their hands are clenched and they're poised - almost like a vulture frozen in place on the branch of a tree, watching the slow approach of some thirsty victim far below.
It doesn't matter what time of day you sit in the quiet of a theater or a school, they both have the gentle tension and undercurrents of some odd kind of 'expectation' in them.
I’m early for class. Real early. It’s funny. Yeah, Obvious Statements I Have Known. Funny odd, not funny ha ha, I mean.
Sitting in a dark classroom without any pupils, not able to see very much.
Candle’s romantic I suppose. Golden brown glow that makes everything look softer, it’s an illusion of course. If you’ve ever been screwed by candlelight you’ll know what I mean.
As a history teacher, I've occasionally entertained the idea, when faced by the apathy of my students, to just leap in the air and kung fu them. I love my students dearly, but there're times when a Sonny Chiba style skull fracturing bone splintering flying drop kick will clearly make more impact than using logic. I mean how do you convey to still forming minds, the importance of understanding the past, in order to avoid duplicating those past mistakes in the future?
Want a definition of ‘difficult’? Try explaining consumerism to classes of kids whose worldview comes from Fox, MTV, and ‘whatever-else-everyone-else-is-saying-is-so’. One ends up thinking ‘we came from amoeba, crawled onto the land, then up and down from the trees, for this? ‘
I’d love for God to try and tell me that that was why; shortly thereafter you’d hear a yell that would let you know a Supreme Being just got kicked in His rather gigantic infinitely sized balls. Not that they’re interested in my subject. My students I mean – not.. God’s balls. (snipped the excerpt short - leaving the opening here for the heck of it)..
Last edited on Thu Mar 27th, 2008 09:08 pm by IanFraser
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in media res
Member
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Posted: Wed Apr 18th, 2007 01:04 am |
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Ian,
This is filed with beautiful wrting. The humanization of the buildings is eloquent and something I have felt, and you put those feelings into words so eloquently, despite who is saying them and the conditions that are present.
This is filled with intrigue. suspense. Poetential of something - what - happening. Whew!
Creepy???!!!! Naaah! Terrifying potential - yes. Don't edit yourself.
Macbeth is creepy. Medea is creepy. Oedipus is creepy, if they are done right. They also have terrifying potential. I don't think it is creepy if you consider it in their league. I think you should continue. I'd be very curious about where this is going. Going deep into uncharted is the best writing. That which unnerves us can have the best lessons for our humanity. If the writing illuminates a larger truth, it can not be called "creepy" in the sense you imply. That is the modern popular connotation of the word.
I sense the work is still nascent. Raw.
I say write it and see where it goes. Maybe it will go nowhere. But I hope you try to find out. It might have more positve impact than the creepy quotient you are worried about.
Best of luck with it.
If not...well, that is your choice. Writers have to stare down their demons in this kind of work. Yes, even comedies. Think of Moliere! Then they are free to write. Well, in almost any work. The last thing I want when I come out of a theatre is to hear or to say, "Well, that was NICE!"
Just so it illluminates and does not merely exploit.
best,
in media resLast edited on Thu Apr 19th, 2007 03:48 am by in media res
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Edd
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| Joined: | Sat Jun 10th, 2006 |
| Location: | Denver, Colorado USA |
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Posted: Sun Sep 16th, 2007 09:38 pm |
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You had me with: " . . . the soft creaks as it stretches languidly. That's the normal sound of architecture." THE NORMAL SOUND OF ARCHITECTURE. That's a title! Maybe the title of something coming from ECW. :)
~Edd
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javerthejew
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Posted: Sun Feb 17th, 2008 02:58 pm |
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| This is just all out superb! Very original, I don't believe I can think of a single way to improve the piece.
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Nate88
Member
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Posted: Mon Feb 25th, 2008 07:11 pm |
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The last thing I want when I come out of a theatre is to hear or to say, "Well, that was NICE!"
exactly my thoughts, and people would see it just because the title is so...
i dont know how to explain it...but keep it!
very very nice work!
Id be intruigued to read more.
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IanFraser
Member
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Posted: Mon Feb 25th, 2008 10:43 pm |
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thanks for the kind words - well, as I mentioned in another later posting, the piece has won a play writing competition (the AcidTheatre 'Freedom of Speech' Monologue Competition 2007)
http://acidtheatre.blogspot.com/2007/09/call-me-lawyer-weve-got-winner.html
And the last I'd heard from them, the staged reading went well enough, and caused enough debate from the audience, for them to decide to go forward with an actual staging (complete with multimedia)..
and this is going to happen some time this year, in London..
I've been sending the play out, here in the US, but despite interested sniffs, haven't had any theatre companies grab it as yet. Not holding my breath, it might be a little too much for most companies, who probably prefer their 'edgy' material to be not quite as confrontational as this..
(I use 'edgy' in the same way those guys in that old Bob Fosse film 'All That Jazz', used the phrase 'catchy and bouncy' :P )
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