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playwright_bo
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| Joined: | Sun Oct 14th, 2007 |
| Location: | Juneau, Alaska USA |
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Posted: Sun Dec 16th, 2007 07:59 pm |
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My play can now be read on my website:
http://www.bo-o-rama.com/one-act-plays/
Under the new title: PUPPET PLAY
List of Characters: Big D: A large man and a puppeteer.
PA: Bethany, A female PA for the Happy Fun Time Show
Mark: An elementary School teacher
Tina: Marks Teachers Assistant
List of Puppets:
Beauregard: The lead puppet character of the Happy Fun Time Show. The puppet that Big D controls.
Pouty: A pouty puppet, Beauregard’s best friend. Can be double cast and controlled by the actor who plays Production Assistant.
Gruffles: A gruff puppet
Man’s Voice: The Director of the Happy Fun Time Show
Setting:
The play is split between Big D’s dressing room, backstage at the Happy Fun Time Show, and Mark’s bachelor pad apartment. The Time is now. Last edited on Thu Mar 27th, 2008 05:02 am by playwright_bo
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in media res
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Posted: Tue Dec 18th, 2007 02:28 pm |
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p-bo,
I enjoyed this as it seems as if it it going to take on some big issues...but I don't know exactly what yet. Which is just fine. It held my interest to want to find out where it is going.
Big D and his talk of the kids and the eggs -and I rarely say this - MUST be shorter. Great writing, but too much writing makes the essential writing less effective. Just pare that sucker down. We get it better with less. But see further below as far as Editing. Otherwise it becomes too much of an obvious set-up for the crack-up. You want to plant a twig not a tree in the audience's mind.
The banter between the PA and Big D is terrific. How to deal with a giant ego is the bane of every PA. Want a laugh? Make it a double malt with Orange Juice. That will show how much of a boozer he really is. How old is Big D? (I love his name, by the way, because he is a Big D.)
I like how the segue goes into Mark and the TA. I'd like to know how old Mark is, as I think it would make the conflict and consequences greater if her were much older than her. But that is your choice.
I would suggest reading Neil Postman's "Amusing Ourselves to Death" which has become a short classic as far as media is concerned and you touch on it whether you are aware of it or not. Not that it will help you with your play, but that you may be interested because of what you have touched on in your play.
Whatever you do, continue on with this. If you are still writing it, DO NOT EDIT ANYTHING YET. Finish it. You have something quite unique here, and kind of scary to me right now...which I always like. If you have the entire draft, I would go through and give it a trimming and ask "What do I really need?" Is this a full-length play?
Keep a goin'. Love to know how it turns out.
best,
in media resLast edited on Tue Dec 18th, 2007 02:30 pm by in media res
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playwright_bo
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Posted: Thu Dec 20th, 2007 03:44 am |
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Thanks for the help in media res! I really appreciate it. Glad that the PA/Big D banter holds your attention. This is the longest play I've written to date and I do worry about going on for too long in any one scene.
As for the ages of the characters I think that choosing different ages changes the play slightly, but really I think it’s more important for the piece to have the right actor rather than the right aged actor so I think I'll leave it for casting. That might just be me living in a small town and having a limited talent base though... :)
I think I've just finished writing the ending this very hour, but it needs to stew with me a while before I’m satisfied with it.
About the length: Currently the entire play is 25 pages, which puts it in an odd step child length of one acts I know... too long for a ten minute too short for a full length, but what can you do?
Again, thank you so much!
Cheers,
Bo
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Limerick
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Posted: Sun Jan 6th, 2008 05:22 pm |
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I've been in positions similar to that of the poor PA at the top of the show more than I'd care to admit, and you capture the situation very well. I wish it was always as simple as fetching them a belt of scotch.
The play kept my interest and took me right through, I hope to see it in its final form.
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playwright_bo
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Posted: Wed Jan 9th, 2008 10:51 pm |
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Thank you Limerick! I appreciate the feedback, its always nice to find out what works, what doesnt. It's interesting to me that a the Big D scenes are getting noted the most, must be that we theatre folk have all been there. :)
I'm hesitant to post the rest of the play here for fear of internet poachers, Im a little over protective of my newest plays. As soon as I've written something new Im sure I'll post the final scene.
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playwright_bo
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Posted: Tue Mar 11th, 2008 06:28 am |
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The whole play, now called "Puppet Play", can now be read here:
http://www.bo-o-rama.com/one-act-plays/
Cheers,
Bo
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