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Mary Alice
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Posted: Fri Feb 29th, 2008 03:13 am |
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Walking Bonsai
by Mary Alice Mark
copyright Mary Alice Mark 2008
cast of characters:
JIM: Professorial and ministerial, mid forties.
GAL: An old friend of JIM'S and a graduating student, mid twenties.
Setting: A path between buildings on a college campus.
At Rise: JIM and GAL enter, talking. There is a "dance" of attraction between them.
GAL: If we don’t all get there, it won’t be heaven!
JIM: You know that’s not what my organization teaches. I don’t understand why it had to take this long for us to have this conversation. You’re graduating!
GAL: It had to happen sooner or later.
JIM: You’re graduation . . ? What about this conversation? I’ve known you most of- - I’ve been in love with you- -most of my life!
GAL: Funny, you never mentioned it.
JIM: I- . . ? Why don’t you join us?
GAL: -You-. . . -Took a vow of celibacy.
JIM: You would be an asset to our organization.
GAL: You took a vow of celibacy.
JIM: If there was no temptation, there would be no sacrifice.
GAL: My value would be to offer temptation . . ? When we were kids, I thought you were gay. . .
JIM: Well- . . . -we-. . . . Now, I’m celibate. . . . Join us.
GAL: In celibacy? No, this is my body, what I do with it is my business.
JIM: Weren’t we just standing in my office singing hymns? Don’t you believe any of those words you were singing?
GAL: In some way or another, they’re all true.
JIM: So, join us!
GAL: I am a devout heathen.
JIM: Now, that I just don’t understand. You believe, yet you stand there telling me- -you know, -we have screens and filters- -only the creme de la creme rises to the top.
GAL: Wow! I could be the cream at the top, where the very best people evaluate the others! The top, where the very best people are responsible for the very worst human actions. And, being holy cream, I could put the "Amen" on all of that.
JIM: That’s one way of looking at it. You don’t understand.
GAL: None of the words mean anything. What happened to, "All men are created equal, and "Love thy neighbor as thyself?" Where do those ideas fit in with your filters and screens?
JIM: You don’t understand. "All men are created equal," leaves you out in any case.
GAL: If the words don’t mean anything we’re all left out. We’re learning that it takes special training for human beings to talk to each other.
JIM: You don’t understand. That’s all right. When you are more mature- -when you have more life experience- -maybe. After all, you did come to say goodbye. . . . I will always love you.
GAL We both know that, don’t we?
JIM: Just so. Tell me your favorite hymn.
GAL: Most people don’t think of it as a hymn-
JIM: -That’s all right-.
GAL: -You aren’t going to like it-.
JIM: -That’s all right. Hum a few bars, maybe I can sing it with you.
GAL (Sings): Hail! Hail! The gang’s . . .
The End
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Mick Somatosis
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Posted: Sat Mar 1st, 2008 01:27 am |
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My value would be to offer temptation . . ?
Love that idea. It's almost... Branch Davidian. It feels like an opening scene to something bigger. would be good to see more.
MS
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Mary Alice
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Posted: Sat Mar 1st, 2008 03:00 am |
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| Thank you MS! Mary Alice
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Corerro
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Posted: Sun Mar 2nd, 2008 08:33 pm |
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Interesting. I like this. It could well be longer but at the same time, there's something that just pops with it being short. My two cents, spend them as you like.
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Basso
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Posted: Sun Mar 2nd, 2008 09:45 pm |
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Hi, Mary Alice. There was lots of interesting things in this play. I like short plays that throw a lot of things out there, but then I'm biased, because that is what I like to do. However, you kept the ball rolling, which, of course, is ultimately important. I thought that Gal should have had more of response to Jim when he tells her that he loves her, and always has. If he never mentioned it before, it might warrant an "Oh," as if she is taken aback, or pleased, or just stunned. Then would come the big blow-off, just as you did. Even in a short play this would make Gal more nuanced, I think.
Really good writing. What fun. :D
Basso
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Mary Alice
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Posted: Sun Mar 2nd, 2008 09:47 pm |
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Thank you, Basso and Corerro!
Mary Alice
Last edited on Sun Mar 2nd, 2008 09:50 pm by Mary Alice
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Steamboat Chambers
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Posted: Tue Mar 4th, 2008 08:46 pm |
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JIM: You don’t understand. That’s all right. When you are more mature- -when you have more life experience- -maybe. After all, you did come to say goodbye. . . . I will always love you.
I can just see a later chapter of this story where maybe she does return, but they've both changed completely, and the relationship they once shared is flipped on its head. Also, I'm just totally fascinated by what the organization might be. Captivated me! Makes me want more! Too cool.
Keep On Keeping On,
S.C.
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Mary Alice
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Posted: Tue Mar 4th, 2008 10:58 pm |
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S. C.
Thank you so much!
Mary Alice
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