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Mick Somatosis
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Posted: Wed Mar 5th, 2008 01:38 am |
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20-something years ago I was sitting in a car in downtown LA when a song came on the radio. It was called 'You Within Me Within You' by Billy Cobham: Sultry & moody. I looked across the street, to a closed-down restaurant and I suddenly saw the entire structure of the play that is attached here. -- We workshopped it in NYC as a sixty minute piece and it was either too long or too short. we were never able to work out which. I wrote another 50 minutes, then whittled away 20 of those. Now here it is, still creaking along.
It's in 9 scenes, but I don't expect too many to read the lot. Probably wouldn't read it myself, except I have to, for old time's sake. But for anyone who does take the time, I'll be happy to reciprocate in a like fashion.
Mick Somatosis
THE WOUNDED HEART MISSION
CHARACTERS:
TOMMY................Male, late sixties
SISSY................Female, Tommy's wife. mid to late sixties
McKenna..............Male, Thirty-ish.
JIMMY................Male, late sixties. Tommy's buddy.
JOSEPHINE............Female, late twenties.
Cathy................Female. A ghost. mid-twenties.
Putzie...............Male. Late twenties/ early thirties
Lorenzo..............Male. Late fifties.
SCENE ONE:
Music: "You Within Me Within You, by Billy Cobham".
Lights come up on THE PALERMO CAFE. It's A hot
August evening on Fifth Street. Los Angeles .
The music plays as TOMMY Balducci sits at a table smoking
a thick cigar and eating a big bowl of cappelini. Clam
sauce dribbles down his chin. His wife SISSY sits beside
him, fanning herself with a magazine. MCKENNA hands
Tommy a twenty dollar bill. Tommy folds it and puts it in
his pocket. Music fades.)
MCKENNA
It's hot in here. Why don't you get yourselves an air conditioner?
TOMMY
Wouldn't let one of them things past the door. She'll tell you why not.
SISSY
(wearily)
Bad for your lungs.
MCKENNA
No kidding?
TOMMY
(puffing cigar)
Not just bad for your lungs. They give you cancer.
MCKENNA
Air conditioners?
TOMMY
It's a personal observation.
(puffs)
When I was a kid nobody had cancer.
MCKENNA
Mind if I sit down?
TOMMY
Sit! Sit! - Nobody had air conditioners back then, yet everyone was healthy as fish.
Now, they're all dying with the cancer.
(eats)
...process of elimination.
(eats. taps side of head)
Scientific thinking.
MCKENNA
And what about cigars?
TOMMY
What about 'em? Let me tell you something, The whole world has turned against smoke.
(eats)
As if it was a bad thing...
MCKENNA
As if.
TOMMY
You know what smoke is? Fresh air with a little bit of blue coloring mixed in. How
could that do you any harm? - I blame government
(to Sissy)
Tell him who's ruling the world these days.
SISSY
The health freaks.
TOMMY
The health freaks! When I was a kid, the whole world was run by smokers: Churchill,
Truman, Stalin. World affairs were settled in a smoke filled room. Deals were sealed
with the shake of a nicotined hand. You finished a war, what did you do?
(waits for Sissy to finish his sentence)
We're waiting...
SISSY
(sighs)
You passed around the Monte Cristos.
TOMMY
Exactly! You passed around the Monte Cristos.
(eats)
These days nobody respects the president. You know why not?
(puffs)
Because he doesn't smoke AND he rides a fucking bicycle.
SISSY
Language please. We do have a guest.
(stands)
Can I get you boys some nice lemonade?
TOMMY
Yeah, yeah. That's a good idea .
(Sissy exits)
TOMMY
Every time you see him on TV he's got a saddle wedged up his ass. Come on. This isn't
dignified. Can you picture George Washington on roller skates? How about Lyndon
Johnson playing hopscotch with Khrushchev? - When I was a kid you got a bike when
you were nine years old and by the time you were ten you had swapped it for a girly
magazine or a switchblade.
MCKENNA
Do you mind if we get down to business?
TOMMY
You sure you don't want to try some cappelini?
MCKENNA
Nah. I had a sandwich before I came here.
TOMMY
What was in it? Roast beef?
MCKENNA
No. Ham and cheese. Why?
TOMMY
Aaaaah! Sometimes I try to match the face to the food.
MCKENNA
Interesting hobby. And I look like roast beef?
TOMMY
No. Not really. You look sort of ham and cheese all right. Maybe a pickle.. What was
it on? I'll bet you're a rye guy.
MCKENNA
Whole wheat toast.
TOMMY
You want to watch that stuff.
MCKENNA
Whole wheat toast?
TOMMY
Gives you cancer of the old rectotem.
MCKENNA
I'm living a dangerous life. I've got an air conditioner and I'm eating whole wheat toast.
TOMMY
Throw in a fucking bicycle and you got a short life ahead of you.
MCKENNA
I don't want to rush you, but I've got a story I'm trying to write...
TOMMY
I'm going to be what you guys call an anonymous source. That right? I don't want my
picture in the paper.
MCKENNA
Do I have a camera? No names. No faces. That's a promise, okay?
TOMMY
(shouts)
Sissy! We got any more clam sauce out there?
MCKENNA
So. Talk to me. Tell me about the first time you met her.
TOMMY
First time I met her was the day she saw the sign. We got a couple of rooms upstairs we
let out.
MCKENNA
That was about six months ago?
TOMMY
Six, maybe seven. She was going past. She saw it. There was a time when we didn't
need to rent out rooms. Used to have a good lunch trade. Then the neighborhood turned
sour.
MCKENNA
What did she say?
TOMMY
When?
MCKENNA
When she asked about the room. How long did she say she wanted it for?
TOMMY
She said nothing. Just handed me three hundred and twenty dollars.
MCKENNA
Much luggage?
TOMMY
None at the time. She was just driving 'round I guess.
(loudly)
Hey Sis!!
SISSY
(off)
Can you please be patient. Please!
TOMMY
Jesus. I get heartburn like fucking napalm if I don't get plenty of sauce to go with the
pasta.
MCKENNA
No luggage?
TOMMY
Nada.
MCKENNA
What was she wearing?
TOMMY
A Santa Clause costume and a sombrero! I don't know. When was the last time you met
a guy who noticed a woman's clothes?
(Sissy enters with saucepan of clam sauce. She ladles some
onto Tommy's plate.)
SISSY
Are you sure you won't have some Mr. McKenna?
TOMMY
Nah! He wants to hear about the girl.
SISSY
It was terrible. Terrible.
TOMMY
(eating)
This is great sauce. You don't know what you're missing. Is that all you've got?
SISSY
(to McKenna)
I''ll have that lemonade in a minute.
TOMMY
In the old days, we used to have this stuff by the bucket load.
SISSY
(Indignantly)
Don't pay him any attention Mr. McKenna. We never had it by the bucket load.
TOMMY
Whatever. We used to have it in quantity.
(eats)
Ever hear of a guy called Jim Morrison? He used to eat here. Rock musician. Played
with the Rolling Stones.
SISSY
The Doors!
TOMMY
Long hair. Druggy sort of guy. Played guitar with the Rolling Stones.
SISSY
(with exasperation)
The DOORS!!
TOMMY
Am I missing something here? What's wrong with the doors?
SISSY
He didn't play guitar with the Rolling Stones.
TOMMY
Who?
SISSY
Jim Morrison!! He sang with the Doors. That was the name of the band.
TOMMY
Doors, Stones, Beatles, Byrds, Who cares? But could that guy eat Cannelloni.
(SISSY exits)
TOMMY
Know what I'm having for desert? Apple turnover with brandy cream. I'm telling you.
Sweetest heart attack you'll ever have...
MCKENNA
Excuse me, but did I just pay twenty bucks to watch you eat?
TOMMY
If you did, you're sure getting great value for money...
(pause)
You want to talk about the girl?
MCKENNA
If we could.
TOMMY
What's this story of yours about anyway? Rich kids that kill themselves?
MCKENNA
Something like that.
TOMMY
You should have seen the funeral. One senator, two ex-mayors and a bunch of attorneys.
It was like a who's who of everything that's wrong with this country.
MCKENNA
That first day she came here. Did you show her to the room?
TOMMY
I don't go up stairs any more. Too many steps. But I gave her the keys.
MCKENNA
She was happy with the room?
TOMMY
Delirious.
(Sissy enters with lemonade.)
SISSY
There you are Mr. McKenna.
MCKENNA
Thanks.
TOMMY
Don't I get some?
SISSY
You're still eating.
TOMMY
I can't eat and drink at the same time?
SISSY
I'll get it in a minute.
(to McKenna)
I liked that girl. She should not have done what she did. Life does not grow out of the
ground like wild grass. Youth is a gift. Treasure it. Hold it tightly in your arms because
time will come and steal that gift away if it sees your grip is loose.
TOMMY
Yeah right. You know what a real gift would be? A glass of lemonade.
SISSY
He has a heart, Mr. McKenna, believe it or not. Somewhere beneath all those rolls of
fat, something beats.
(Sissy turns and exits.)
TOMMY
You married?
MCKENNA
No.
TOMMY
Don't bother. You know what it is the main cause of?
MCKENNA
Let me guess...
TOMMY
I'm not talking about the big'C', I'm talking about the big 'G': Grief. How long have I
been married? Ten buckets of tears, that's how long.
MCKENNA
It hasn't killed you yet.
SISSY
(off)
You know I'm not deaf out here. I can hear what you're saying.
TOMMY
Maybe you can hear my stomach rumbling too. How long does it take to squeeze a lemon?
SISSY
I have one pair of hands.
TOMMY
Maybe you could make them move faster.
SISSY
Maybe I could use them to strangle you.
TOMMY
Answers for everything.
MCKENNA
(writing in notebook)
So what was she doing driving around this neighborhood?
TOMMY
The girl?
MCKENNA
The girl. Cathy.
TOMMY
Good question. No answers. She was just drifting around. She saw the sign, got a kick
out of it. Came on in.
MCKENNA
(puzzled)
The 'room for rent' sign?
TOMMY
Nah! The big sign.
MCKENNA
What 'big' sign?
TOMMY
You didn't see it? How could you miss it?
(shouts towards kitchen door)
Hey Sis, he never noticed the big sign. - What sort of a newspaper reporter are you?
That sign is famous. People come to take photographs of that sign. Had a picture in the
Times a few years ago.
(eats)
Didn't bring any business.
(Sissy appears in the doorway, holding a lemon.)
SISSY
You really didn't see it?
MCKENNA
He's a newspaper reporter and he misses something that covers half the front of the
building.
SISSY
Maybe he didn't look up.
MCKENNA
Maybe he needs glasses.
SISSY
Stop talking like a wiseguy. It's bad manners.
(to McKenna)
You didn't see the sign?
MCKENNA
No.
SISSY
It's big all right, but it's pretty much faded with time. It's not really that easy to see.
TOMMY
(eating)
It's jumping out at you at ninety miles an hour. It's screaming at you: Look at me, look
at me. I am a big fucking sign...
(beat)
Please excuse my language.
MCKENNA
What does it say?
TOMMY
Go outside and take a look.
SISSY
Right above our sign, the one that says 'Palermo Cafe', it was painted maybe eighty years
ago when this building belonged to the church, it says 'Wounded Heart Mission'.
TOMMY
Wounded Heart Mission in two foot high letters. Ray fucking Charles wouldn't miss it.
(Sissy looks at Tommy and shakes her head crossly. Tommy
shrugs)
MCKENNA
So, it was the sign that brought her in.
TOMMY
She was having women's emotional problems. Could spot it a mile away.
SISSY
She wanted some place where she could be totally alone. Wounded Heart Mission? It
seemed right for her.
TOMMY
She reckoned that the sign was a 'sign', if you know what I mean.
SISSY
(looking at door)
She looked so frail and lost and helpless when she walked in through that door .
TOMMY
(looking at door)
The way the light caught her, she looked like an angel. I said that at the time, didn't I?
SISSY
We didn't know who she was.
TOMMY
I said she was an angel.
SISSY
You could see that she didn't belong around here. She looked lost.
TOMMY
Graceful, delicate, exquisite. .
The door is lit by a golden light)
SISSY
Lost.
TOMMY
An angel in the city of angels!
(They all look at the door. 'You within me, within you' plays
for a moment.)
(The door opens and JIMMY Perroni enters. He is the exact
opposite of a graceful angel: a little older than Tommy.
Reed thin. His gray suit is too tight and he wears white
socks and slip-on shoes. His eyes dart around nervously.
He carries a checker board under one arm and a plastic
shopping bag in his hand)
JIMMY
(hesitating)
Ah! You got visitors.
TOMMY
Hey, Jimmy!
JIMMY
I'll come back later.
TOMMY
Don't be stupid. Come in. Come in.
(Jimmy checks out McKenna, not knowing what to make of
him.)
SISSY
This is Mr. McKenna. I'm sorry, I didn't get your first name.
MCKENNA
Bill.
SISSY
Bill, this is Jimmy. Jimmy Perroni.
MCKENNA
Nice to meet you.
(Jimmy and McKenna shake hands)
JIMMY
McKenna? Irish?
TOMMY
He's a newspaper reporter.
JIMMY
(alarmed)
He's not taking pictures is he?
TOMMY
Has he got a camera?
JIMMY
Maybe I'll come back later.
TOMMY
Later?
JIMMY
Maybe I'll come back tomorrow.
TOMMY
Tomorrow is Saturday.
JIMMY
You're doing business. I don't like sticking around when a man is doing business.
TOMMY
I'm not doing business, I'm just having a conversation.
JIMMY
(going towards door)
I'll come back Monday.
TOMMY
Where the hell are you going?
JIMMY
I'll take a walk.
TOMMY
Are you out of your mind. When was the last time you saw anybody walk in this town?
This is the city that invented drive-in movies, drive-up banking and drive-by shootings.
Where are you going to walk to?
JIMMY
I better go.
TOMMY
You're not going anywhere.
JIMMY
I am.
TOMMY
You came here to play checkers, didn't you?
JIMMY
Not necessarily.
TOMMY
Not necessarily? You got the checker board under your arm.
JIMMY
Now you're embarrassing me Tommy, so I have to go and let you finish your business
with the newspaper guy.
TOMMY
Sissy. Tell him what I'm doing.
SISSY
It's just a conversation.
(Jimmy turns and exits)
SISSY
What's he going to do out there?
TOMMY
He'll probably walk around until Ricky comes to pick him up.
(to McKenna)
We play checkers every Friday. He had a stroke a couple of years back. You know how
it is.
(Tapping side of head)
Confusion.
MCKENNA
Look. Maybe it's me. Maybe I should come back some other time.
TOMMY
Nah, stick around. You're paying for my time, that guy isn't. Jeez. I don't even like
playing checkers. I wouldn't mind if we were playing something intelligent like chess...
SISSY
What are you talking about, you can't play chess.
TOMMY
Answers for everything. This is what I'm up against.
(The door opens. Jimmy re-enters. He says nothing.
Doesn't even look at Tommy, Sissy or McKenna. He walks
briskly across the room, sits at a table and starts setting up
the checker board. Tommy sighs and shakes his head.)
TOMMY
I'm going to go and play a quick game of checkers with this guy. You want to talk to Sis
for a few minutes?
(McKenna looks at his watch. Tommy turns and starts
walking towards Jimmy .)
TOMMY
This isn't going to take long. It's not like we're talking about chess.
SISSY
You like to come out to the kitchen? It's quieter. Not so much... 'Tommy' out there.
END SCENE ONE
SCENE TWO:
(The kitchen is not that big and its proportions are made
even more compact by the hanging pots and pans, most
gathering dust. Sissy sizes McKenna up and down, as if
deciding what she wants to tell him)
SISSY
It was blue and white.
MCKENNA
Excuse me?
SISSY
You wanted to know what she was wearing the day she first came here. It was a blue and
white dress.
MCKENNA
You remember?
SISSY
Yes.
MCKENNA
What else did you notice?
SISSY
When she paid for the room. She didn't seem comfortable dealing with cash. All the
notes were new... Fresh. Straight from the bank. You could tell she was more used to
dealing with checks and credit cards.
MCKENNA
She was making sure she wasn't traced?
SISSY
I guess.
MCKENNA
Anything else?
SISSY
She had some books under her arm.
MCKENNA
What sort of books?
SISSY
Young ladies books. Men. Excitement. Dreams. That sort of thing.
MCKENNA
She liked to read romantic novels?
SISSY
Women don't read books like that. They inhale them. They're like perfume.
(Looks out door towards Tommy)
I don't think men ever understand that.
MCKENNA
(writing)
No. I suppose we don't.
SISSY
One of the books was different though.
MCKENNA
How was it different?
SISSY
It was a book of maps.
MCKENNA
Maps?
SISSY
Maps of the sea.
MCKENNA
(writing)
Maps of the sea! Strange.
SISSY
That's what I thought. At the time.
MCKENNA
So what did you talk about?
SISSY
Oh, I probably gave you the wrong impression by saying that we talked. In actual fact the
two of us just sat here and listened to Tommy. He has a lot of interesting theories. You
want to know who shot Kennedy? Ask Tommy. - It had to be someone above suspicion
and someone who could get in close enough to fire the fatal shot. Tommy!
TOMMY
(off)
What?
SISSY
Who shot JFK?
(Tommy comes to the kitchen door. Takes the cigar from
his mouth and picks a speck of tobacco from his tongue.)
TOMMY
(matter-of-factly)
Jackie Kennedy!
SISSY
See what I mean?
TOMMY
You want a real story? "Jackie Kennedy - Serial Killer" There's your headline. A wild
woman hopped up on amphetamines. She guns down her first husband in front of the
whole world. The second guy, she's cagey. Knows she can't get away with the same stunt
twice. - What does Aristotle Onassis die from? 'Intestinal disorders'! My guess:
poisoning!!
SISSY
(reciting by heart)
..."Two husbands die..."
TOMMY
Two husbands die...
(snaps fingers)
Like that. And not once is she ever taken downtown. I got a friend in the LAPD,
McMurty, He's got an expression. You know what it is? "Nine times out of ten, the
spouse is the louse".
(Tommy exits. Sissy shrugs, hopelessly.)
SISSY
You get the gist.
MCKENNA
Did she say anything at all?
SISSY
Not really. She just gave us her name, and that turned out to be false anyway. She said
her name was Cathy Clark. I thought it was a nice name. It suited her. Much better than
her real name.
MCKENNA
Vernon?
SISSY
When I went to the cemetery and saw it on her tombstone, it just felt all wrong.
(McKenna writes in his notebook)
SISSY
You know...
(beat)
I read in the papers, her father had three private detectives looking for her, and a big cash
reward.
MCKENNA
Yeah, I read that too.
SISSY
And they weren't just your average gumshoes. They were the best in town. That's what
the papers said.
MCKENNA
Can't have been that good if they didn't find her.
SISSY
I was just wondering...
MCKENNA
About what?
SISSY
I wonder if these detectives are still looking.
MCKENNA
Why would they still be looking? She was found. Dead. Case closed.
(Sissy fills McKenna's glass with lemonade. She changes
direction in her conversation, as if she's edging around
something she would rather not talk about.)
SISSY
Her father is a powerful man, And dangerous. That's what I hear. Maybe he wasn't happy
with the police report.
MCKENNA
It's LA. Nobody is ever happy with the police report.
SISSY
What newspaper did you say you worked for?
MCKENNA
Register.
SISSY
So if I phoned their office in the morning...
MCKENNA
They'd put you right through to me.
SISSY
I'm just...
MCKENNA
Yes?
SISSY
This thing isn't over. You know that.
MCKENNA
Sure it's over. Pretty soon it will all be forgotten.
SISSY
No. Not by me. I don't want to forget. You can forget the living, Mr. McKenna, but you
should never forget the dead.
(Silence)
MCKENNA
So tell me about that night. You don't mind talking about it, do you?
SISSY
No.
(Sissy looks out the window as she recites her story.)
SISSY
She'd been out driving somewhere and she came in at about six in the evening. She looked
tired, but she seemed very calm. She asked if she could join us for dinner.
MCKENNA
Was that unusual?
SISSY
It was the first and last time we were to eat together. Oh, we had often asked her to join
us, but she was like all girls of that age. She probably lived on snacks...
(Sissy opens the window and reaches out to feel the air)
SISSY
You know, I think it's going to rain...
MCKENNA
You ate together?
SISSY
Do you like Italian food Mr. McKenna?
MCKENNA
Yeah, I guess. Basically I'll eat anything that's put in front of me.
SISSY
Personally, I don't really care for it. I'm Polish. Tommy doesn't like me telling people
that. He says it's bad for business. But it's true. I never even learned how to cook proper
Italian. I just cook Polish and throw in lots of pasta. It seems to work.
(pause)
She brought flowers for the table. Tommy was on his best behavior that night... If you
can imagine such a thing. He was a gentleman. His manners were perfect. He didn't
swear. Didn't mention John F. Kennedy, Marilyn Monroe, Joe Stalin. Not once. - He
wore a suit. It was a long, long time since I'd seen him in a suit. | | |
