Hi, in media res,
Very fun stuff, and you've got the dialogue down pat. I haven't heard "like a stuck pig" in a long time! In fact, don't know if I've ever heard it -- probably only have seen it. "Bleeding like a stuck pig," "squealing like a stuck pig"... I love those colorful old expressions. "Like an undertaker's smile... sizin' you up for the wood box." So colorful.
I also love the iPods and ties as a way of notching kills -- zany and yet a clever way of bringing the present into the past. I'm eager to see how you continue to juxtapose past and present. Am also curious to see what twists you have in store for the Eastern land grabber theme.
I do think this would be great fun for the actors as well as the audience. I don't know if you're familiar with Heritage Square Opera House here in Colorado. They do some fun takes on melodramas... you might query them.
Of course, you'd be disappointed if the copy editor in me didn't find something to change. Looks like you couldn't make up your mind between "is so becoming in a young man as" or "becomes a young man more":
BELLE: Yes. Billy, nothing is so becomes a young man than politeness to a lady.
Please let us see more!
kris
Last edited on Fri Apr 4th, 2008 11:27 pm by kris
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