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solarcirclegirl
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| Joined: | Wed Oct 17th, 2007 |
| Location: | Conway, Arkansas USA |
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Posted: Wed May 7th, 2008 01:55 pm |
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Act 1, scene 2 of Heavensent. Any critiquing would be very helpful.
Starting in this scene, there are scenes in this play that play with the Christian pantheon which may offend some people. None of this is meant to be shocking, but I thought a fair warning was needed. Also, there is mild cursing.
Also, forgive the formatting SNAFU. I cut and pasted from Final Draft.
Thanks in advance :)
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SCENE 2
Lights up on Petey’s Pub. GOD and SATAN are sitting at the bar, playing Go Fish.
SATAN
Got any 3s?
GOD
Go fish. Got any 6s?
SATAN
Go fish.
GOD narrows his eyes on SATAN.
GOD
You have no 6s?
SATAN
I said Go Fish.
GOD narrows his eyes further.
SATAN
Jesus, fine.
SATAN throws two cards down to GOD.
GOD
Got any 7s?
SATAN
Go fish.
GOD
Satan...
SATAN
Yes, I have 7s! And I have a 9 and three 4s and a 10! But you knew that too!
GOD
I win.
SATAN tosses his cards down.
SATAN
This is lame.
GOD picks up the cards and begins to reassemble the deck.
SATAN
We’ve played every board game, every card game known to man or otherwise. We’ve even played some that we just made up and I’ve lost every time.
GOD
You know what that means?
SATAN
You’re a low down dirty cheater?
GOD
That you won’t win, no matter what.
SATAN
No, it’s because we’re playing these pansy games. Let’s really gamble.
GOD
I thought we were. I did just win a couple souls back into the Book of Life with that hand.
SATAN
No, let’s really gamble. Like in Old Times.
GOD
Are you sure you want to do that?
SATAN
Why wouldn’t I?
GOD
You never win.
SATAN
It’s because you cheat.
GOD
I didn’t cheat with Lot.
SATAN
Lot was a fluke. And a freak.
GOD
Sure, sure.
SATAN
Come on, it’ll be fun.
GOD
What did you have in mind?
SATAN
Don’t you know?
GOD
I want to hear you say it.
SATAN
I’ve had my eye on a particular angel.
GOD
You don’t say.
SATAN
She’s one of your favorites.
GOD
I’m God, I don’t have favorites.
SATAN
Fine, but if you had a favorite--
GOD
--Which I don’t--
SATAN
--Yeah, whatever--
GOD
--Because I’m God--
SATAN
Even though you don’t have favorites, because you’re God, if you were to have one, she would be it.
GOD
Probably.
SATAN groans in frustration.
GOD
Okay, okay, so if you win?
SATAN
She becomes my bride.
GOD
I don’t know if I can allow this sort of polygamy to go on.
SATAN
What goes on in your kingdom is your business.
GOD
Don’t you have enough wives? What about Persephone?
SATAN
She’s back on earth right now. Lame clause if you ask me because she’s fine.
GOD
What about Janis Joplin? You begged me for her.
SATAN
She’s a little too freaky even for me. You can have her back.
GOD
Courtney Love?
SATAN
She’s not even dead yet and that was the result of drinking way too much one night.
GOD
Fine, what’s the bet?
SATAN
I’ve been keeping tabs on who’s biting the dust lately and there’s a pair from yesterday I’m interested in.
GOD
You don’t say.
SATAN
And they think they’re great gamblers.
GOD
They’ve done some pretty ridiculous things. You have something in common with them.
SATAN gives GOD a rude hand gesture.
SATAN
Tell me more about them.
GOD
There isn’t much to say.
SATAN
Come off it.
GOD
All right. It’s very important that their son and daughter end up together.
SATAN
How important?
GOD
Life or death.
SATAN
You don’t say.
GOD
The fate of everything hangs in the balance.
SATAN
Oh, really?
GOD
It shouldn’t be too hard to get their kids together. It just an eventual thing. Their child is going to be the next coming. All I have to do is...
GOD makes like he’s flicking the two people toward each other.
SATAN
Wait, wait, wait. Before you do anything rash, let’s make a little bet.
GOD
About this? Oh, no.
SATAN
Why not?
GOD
I wouldn’t want to see you fall flat on your face because of something like this.
SATAN
Whatever. You know I could take you down.
GOD
Come on--
SATAN
I won’t beg.
GOD
All right, all right, if you insist. I was going to send their fathers back to earth to make sure their children realize they are in love.
SATAN
I bet I can thwart their efforts.
GOD
I’ll bet they’ll be able to do it, despite your best efforts.
SATAN
Sounds good.
GOD
Yes it --oh, one more thing.
SATAN
What?
GOD
I’m going to impose a time limit.
SATAN
Oh, for the love of--
GOD
It’s not much of a bet if you have all of eternity to do it.
SATAN
Fine, what?
GOD
The son is going to be marrying another woman on Saturday at 9 a.m.
SATAN
Fine, fine, fine. Anything else?
GOD
Yes. I should get something when I win.
SATAN
If you win, you mean.
GOD
Fine, if I win, which I will.
SATAN
Whatever.
GOD
Because I’m God.
SATAN
Yeah, yeah. I know, you’re God. Whatever. Will you shut up and tell me what you want?
GOD
One of the fallen angels to be back in my heavenly host. The fallen angel of my choice.
SATAN
Fine, it’s on.
SATAN holds his hand out for a handshake but GOD conjures a scroll.
SATAN
What? My handshake isn’t good enough?
GOD
No.
SATAN
This is ridiculous. Where do I sign?
GOD
You don’t want to read it first?
SATAN
I’m a busy man. I don’t have time for all this.
GOD
Sign here.
SATAN does. GOD flips a page.
GOD
Initial here.
SATAN does. GOD flips another page.
GOD
And here.
SATAN does again and GOD flips another page. SATAN gets annoyed.
SATAN
Come on!
GOD
And date here. And sign here.
SATAN signs and gets up.
SATAN
Time to get to work.
SATAN’S cell phone goes off. It should have an appropriate ringtone--Britney Spears, ‘Barbie Girl’ by Aqua, something that’s really hideous pop music.
SATAN
Damnit! How did Courtney Love get my new number? I gotta jet. I have mischief and mayhem to attend to. Hades.
SATAN disappears. GOD gets out his cell phone.
GOD
It’s me. Stall them. I have a plan.
Lights down.
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Michaeltw721
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| Joined: | Wed Mar 5th, 2008 |
| Location: | NYC, New York USA |
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Posted: Wed May 7th, 2008 03:05 pm |
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I like this part too.
Questions:
WHY are they playing games/cards/etc. What has brought them together?
Why is their child going to be the next coming?
I'm curious to read more as, at first, the tone didn't match up with the first piece. Kind of romantic/emotional (scene1) vs. worldy/comedic (scene2).
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