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THE PLAYWRIGHTS' FORUM : stageplays-forum.com > The Art & Craft of Writing > Critique my Poem > Comes the Music

Comes the Music

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timmy
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Joined:	Fri Jun 9th, 2006
Location:	Oz, Minnesota USA
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Posted: Tue Feb 26th, 2008 02:48 pm

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a song comes,

an older song

a face turns,

knows it is

heart, lungs

lips, handclap

of gypsy, comes

eyebrows

raise silence

she says, can be

language

are you listening?

someone is singing

the sun into our lives

come, take me

let’s dance

Basso
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Joined:	Fri Feb 29th, 2008
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Posted: Thu Mar 6th, 2008 12:00 pm

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someone is singing

the sun into our lives

I love this image.

Alas, having lived in Italy for a time, I'm not too keen on Gypsies. Their searching hands looking for my wallet may have taken some of the lustre away, perhaps. Lucky for them my wallet was tucked away under my clothes, and so, there life-style of poverty was left unchallenged by me. LOL

Basso

Last edited on Sun Mar 23rd, 2008 02:20 am by Basso

Will Kemp
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Posted: Sun Mar 23rd, 2008 12:57 am

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This is a very pretty poem. . .reminds me a bit of e.e. cummings, and also of Paddy's synaethesia exercise [zat the word?] Yeah. . .great image: somebody singing the sun into our lives.

have you seen the movie August Rush? I haven't but myh friend told me about it. It's about an orphaned kid who recognizes his parents by their cello playing or something. Makes everybody cry. They either love it or hate it.

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