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Potabasil
Member
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Posted: Fri Mar 21st, 2008 12:14 am |
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They sent me a photograph of her
She was smiling
In the conservatory
I was happy
She was happy
They said she smiles
all the time
Just sits there and smiles
In a world of her own
I was content to know
she was happy
smiling all day long
I was 3000 miles away
thinking she was smiling all day
Then I got the telephone call
I can't say what they told me right now
But maybe one day
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Deirdre
Member
| Joined: | Tue Mar 18th, 2008 |
| Location: | British Columbia |
| Posts: | 31 |
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| Mana: |    |
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Posted: Fri Mar 21st, 2008 01:13 am |
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Oh. This poem is deceptively simple and manages to get under one's skin with a terrible feeling of dread. It's not so much a poem to critique as a prayer to offer.
Very effective.
d.
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Edd
Moderator
| Joined: | Sat Jun 10th, 2006 |
| Location: | Denver, Colorado USA |
| Posts: | 872 |
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Posted: Fri Mar 21st, 2008 04:46 am |
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Imelda,
So many emotions in so short a time. Disturbing. Dark. Scary. Beautiful. Powerful. Uncomfortable anxiety.
~Edd
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Potabasil
Member
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Posted: Fri Mar 21st, 2008 12:51 pm |
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Thank you Deirdre
I wrote it last night in 2 miins, it just came to me when I was reading this Critique my Poem page. It was after I wrote it that I noticed it was up for Critiqueing, and I was going to Delete, but decided against it.
Potabasil
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Potabasil
Member
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Posted: Fri Mar 21st, 2008 12:53 pm |
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Thank you Master
Imelda
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timmy
Member
| Joined: | Fri Jun 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Oz, Minnesota USA |
| Posts: | 307 |
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Posted: Sat Mar 22nd, 2008 10:27 pm |
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Any poem that irks a reader is a good poem. The teeter-totter "up & down" of emotion is wonderful.
timmy
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Potabasil
Member
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Posted: Sun Mar 23rd, 2008 07:20 pm |
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Timmy
Thank you
Potabasil
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Potabasil
Member
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Posted: Sun Mar 23rd, 2008 07:40 pm |
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Hi Timmy
Easter Sunday afternoon, hubby has taken children to the park. The Lamb is in the oven and I'm sitting here reading through all your poetry.
They are wonderful, I just love them.
I'm nominating you as the Resident Poet or is it The Poet in Residence?
A lovely way to spend an afternoon
Thank you
Potabasil
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timmy
Member
| Joined: | Fri Jun 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Oz, Minnesota USA |
| Posts: | 307 |
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Posted: Mon Mar 24th, 2008 07:27 pm |
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a compliment. Many thanks.
timmy
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Potabasil
Member
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Posted: Thu Mar 27th, 2008 02:07 am |
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Last edited on Thu Mar 27th, 2008 03:36 am by Potabasil
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Current time is 09:55 pm | |
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