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timmy
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| Joined: | Fri Jun 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Oz, Minnesota USA |
| Posts: | 343 |
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Posted: Sat Jul 12th, 2008 02:29 pm |
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Once from her cellophane
box, she was taken
and played with
for hours.
Dressed and undressed
a thousand times.
Hair brushed, lips
pert and fresh
always pink, never red,
and a perpetual smile.
This love affair lasted
for three years.
He told her, “I’ll sit
with your silence.
I’ll sit with your screams.
I’ll hold you as needed.”
And then it began:
Sometimes, he left her naked
for days
on the floor. Beneath the bed.
Her hair became ratty. He
told her she wasn’t pretty
anymore. Held her
upside down. Twisted
her arms.
He finally set her
in the closet and shut
the door.
She was put down
in that place where she no longer
lived:
No one to hear
her confessions.
Never dreaming at night;
eyes open and forever
porcelain.
In the closet, on the top shelf,
listening to her owner
loving someone else tonight.Last edited on Tue Jul 15th, 2008 07:25 pm by timmy
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timmy
Member
| Joined: | Fri Jun 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Oz, Minnesota USA |
| Posts: | 343 |
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Posted: Tue Jul 15th, 2008 07:26 pm |
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| Revised edition...
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Edd
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| Joined: | Sat Jun 10th, 2006 |
| Location: | Denver, Colorado USA |
| Posts: | 928 |
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Posted: Tue Jul 15th, 2008 08:15 pm |
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Whoa, timmy. A kaleidoscope of wonder and expectation. I'll be carefully reading this many more times.
For me, over many years, your poetry has always gone from good to stunning, but never bad or boring. Thanks for keeping them coming.
~Edd
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timmy
Member
| Joined: | Fri Jun 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Oz, Minnesota USA |
| Posts: | 343 |
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Posted: Tue Jul 15th, 2008 10:47 pm |
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| Why thank you, Edd. I appreciate your read and comments.
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in media res
Member
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Posted: Mon Jul 21st, 2008 08:19 pm |
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timmy,
Simply: I agree with everything edd has written.
Thank you.
in media res
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proptart
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| Joined: | Mon Jul 21st, 2008 |
| Location: | New York USA |
| Posts: | 9 |
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Posted: Wed Jul 30th, 2008 02:44 pm |
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| Just wanted you to know how evocative I found the imagery in this poem. Thanks for posting it and I look forward to reading more of your work.
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in media res
Member
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Posted: Thu Jul 31st, 2008 02:23 pm |
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proptart,
timmy has posted multitudes of brilliant work on this site. If you look back into the threads you will be rewarded with depth, variety and beauty.
I love your Forum screen name, by the way. Another great one I smile and chuckle at here is "fallenprosceniumarches."
best,
in media resLast edited on Thu Jul 31st, 2008 02:23 pm by in media res
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timmy
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| Joined: | Fri Jun 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Oz, Minnesota USA |
| Posts: | 343 |
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Posted: Fri Aug 1st, 2008 01:31 am |
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Proptart:
"Evocative" is good. I like evocative. Thanks for reading.
This poem has generated some interesting comments in the different places I've posted it. I had a chance to actually read it for the first time a couple of weeks ago. I'm still "tinkering" with a few things.
(I also like your tag-name :)
timmy
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proptart
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| Joined: | Mon Jul 21st, 2008 |
| Location: | New York USA |
| Posts: | 9 |
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Posted: Fri Aug 1st, 2008 01:55 pm |
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| Thanks for the advise. I'm looking forward to becoming acquainted with everyone's work.
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Potabasil
Member
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Posted: Sat Aug 9th, 2008 03:50 pm |
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Timmy
I love this poem and I love reading everone you post. You have such talent.
Potabasil
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Current time is 07:12 am | |
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