Posted: Wed Jul 7th, 2010 02:24 am
1 st Post
Laying in bed freezing, under only a sheet
My quilt has been absent for over 2 weeks
No longer taunted by the screen door creaks
My quilt sits at threshold to cease noise leaks
Why aren’t I asleep? Could my resolve be a cheat?
Up out of bed in route to reclaim my heat
I find the quilt dirty, doing its job at my feet
back in my bed, quilt wrapped nice and neat
finally warm, then the old door speaks
a familiar message, a neglected beat
if those taunts don’t subside, no way to turn cheek
Ill rip off your hinges and teach you to screech!
Up once again, freezing outside of my sheet
To the door where my anger, starts a violent beat
At last hinges busted, the door flat and neat
I’ve ended this bothersome, torturous streak
Back in bed warming, under quilt plus my sheet
Content and smiling, more than halfway to sleep
When an owl flies in, perched right at my feet
Could it be this whole time? The door caused his retreat?
The hoots bellow out, a truly pestering feat
I’ll muffle his beak with my quilt, and then start counting sheep
after all of this work, tell me, how could it be?
im laying in bed freezing, under only a sheet
Posted: Sun Jul 11th, 2010 05:08 pm
2 nd Post
This has a nice cadence about it...would enjoy listening to it in the author's voice.
A bit too much of the same end sounds for my taste, but the rhythm saves the rhyme (so to speak). I suspect the image of sheep counting plays into the beat, and that's handled nicely. I also like the owl flying in ala Poe's "The Raven."
I guess my only other thought would be...why would you wait two weeks to find a warmer blanket?
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