View single post by jas faulkner
 Posted: Fri Jun 27th, 2008 07:37 pm
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jas faulkner



Joined: Sun Jun 15th, 2008
Location: Nashville, Tennessee USA
Posts: 4
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Mana: 
I love the idea of this challenge!  Those were fun pieces to read.  I would love to see either of those plays worked into something longer. 

Theatre Maven brings up a point that makes me wonder:  How much exposition is too much when you have a very strict time restraint?   Some of the better short pieces I've seen capture distilled moments and we learn as much or more about the characters by how they interact than what they say. 

Rob and Kati are charming. I want to see more of them.  Why are they or were they attracted to each other and what happnes now that Kati has cleared the air about that bad date?   The dialogue really have some spark!  The only misstep was that the exposition was a little clunky.  I think (and will cop to being wrong) that you could have had Kati allude to past instances with Rob revealing more than he means to by the way he tries to duck and weave around her verbal barbs.  There is quite a bit of potential for the audience to take delight in piecing together their relationship (or lack thereof.)

As for big change in two pages?  It can happen.  But the point might be to just give us a moment and that would be enough.

Billh, I really liked Maggie and Pops, too!   One thing that stood out for me is how so much of their relationship can be gathered from the linguistic shorthand they use to talk to each other.  There are a few times when Maggie does seem to be telling us rather than showing us.  It feels a bit like she's alternating between talking to Pops and telling the audience about Pops.   But that's a quibble, especially given that you wrote it in 15 minutes.  A very nice start!