View single post by MontyD
 Posted: Sat Jan 17th, 2009 02:28 am
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MontyD

 

Joined: Thu Dec 18th, 2008
Location: Tokyo, Japan
Posts: 20
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Mana: 
Very helpful, thanks guys!

Pasting a first draft of the conversations below, if you are interested. This sequence is mostly exposition. Oh and the script layout looks better in FD, anyway:

EBISU HOTEL - TELEPHONE CALLS - SAT. MORNING
In his hotel room, Balmori, with a can of ‘Boss’ coffee at his side, is standing before a small ironing board. As he irons his shirt and handkerchief, he drinks his morning coffee and makes and receives telephone calls, the receiver frequently sandwiched between his ear and shoulder.


TELEPHONE CALL 1 - BALMORI TO HIS WIFE
Balmori calls his home in the Philippines and speaks with his wife.

BALMORI
Dials number, waits for phone to be answered.
(smiling)
Hi honey!
(pause)
Hi...
(pause)
I’m fine...
(pause)
Yup, I’m still here...
(nodding his head)
My story’s coming along... And how are you and Rosa...?
(pause)
Yup, I can hear her...!
(smiling)
Give her a big hug from her papa!
(pause)
Ah...
(pause)
Well, that’s why I’m calling...
(apologetic)
Honey, I won’t be back tonight. I’m going to have to stay here for another day...
(pause)
I know... sorry...
(shaking his head)
No, no, everything’s alright... It’s just that something came up, and I’m going to have to stay another day to finish up...
(pause)
Thanks...
(pause)
You don’t mind?
(pause)
Yup, the same... Diosdado airport, same flight number, same arrival time, but tomorrow...
(smiling)
It’s alright...? Thanks honey!
(pause)
I know, sorry... And I miss you too...
(pause)
Alright then, see you tomorrow...
Hangs up the telephone, pauses for a moment, then picks up the receiver and dials another number.


TELEPHONE CALL 2 - BALMORI TO HIS EDITOR
Balmori calls the Manila Gazette to speak to his editor, ‘TEDDY’. Telephone rings, another staff member answers.

BALMORI
Dials number, waits for phone to be answered.
Hi, Luis?
(pause)
It’s Victor... Is Teddy there...?
(pause)
Ah, see if you can get him away, will you? Tell him I’m calling from Tokyo...
(pause)
Yeah, since Thursday...
(pause)
It’s nice... Listen Luis, I’m in a bit of a rush here...
(long pause)
Hi Teddy!
Pulls receiver away from his ear, he is being yelled at.
Yes, that’s right, still here...
Getting another earful.
I know, Teddy... But I changed my flight, I’ll be back tomorrow...
(pause)
No, no problem, we’re good for Sunday. I’ll file tonight, by 10 p.m., your time...
(excited)
I’ve got something new, and it’s good... You’ve got to front it...
(pause)
Yes, front page, and above the fold! Can you hold a jump slot? I’m also going to send it in English, so you can put it out on the news wire...
(pause)
I know you asked for human interest, but this is breaking news... Actually, it’s breaking news and it’s human interest!
(pause)
It is...
(nodding)
...trust me.
He stops his ironing and drinking coffee, listens anxiously for quite some time.
(relieved)
Alright, thanks, Teddy!
Resumes his ironing.
I promise, clean copy by ten tonight...
(pause)
Yup ...not a minute later... Thanks Teddy!
Hangs up. Takes a swig of coffee. Suddenly the telephone rings.


TELEPHONE CALL 3 - MUKAIDE TO BALMORI
Mukaide calls Balmori, who is surprised to hear the phone ring, and answers with some curiosity.

BALMORI
Hello?
(surprised)
Inspector?
(pause)
No, you’re not interrupting anything...
(surprised)
What? You want me to come and see you?
(laughs)
Well, that’s very convenient, Inspector... Because I was just about to call you...
(pause)
You see, I have a few questions, a few rather serious questions about a rather serious matter. These are questions that I hope you will answer. And so, I’m very happy to hear you’re available this morning...
(pause)
Alright, I’ll be there in an about an hour...
(pause)
Good. See you then, Inspector.
Hangs up. Drinks back the last of his coffee, hurriedly finishes his ironing, turns off the iron, puts on his shirt.

LIGHTS DOWN.

Last edited on Sat Jan 17th, 2009 03:58 pm by MontyD