Well, you know, Edd, there’s been a lot of rumors for quite some time now that Vanessa is in fact my lovechild. I wish to dispel those rumors right here and now. You need only compare our faces to see there is absolutely no family resemblance at all. And if you still don’t believe me, just ask Vanessa…she nose.
My son's cat was killed by an American (hit and run) she was called Duchess. Anyway he cried and cried and my heart was broken. So off we went again to the Humane Society for another Duchess. At the time I was not very well, and I came home with TWO WHITE RABBITS. All the neighbours were asking was I mad and all I could say to them was "I'm on Tablets" I'm on medicine"
Anyway between the jigs and the reels, we all love the two bunnies and they have a very happy life here right now not too far from the log fire in their house which looks like a little log cabin. They get to run around all morning when the fire is not lit and they just love the Christmas trees.
They are sisters and I have not been able to name them yet, the kids keep changing their minds. I though Snow and White maybe
Any suggestions Harvey?
Gourmet rabbit food
and have this lovely ball. Looks like a rope or twine, but they love it, it's specially for bunnies
Harvey if your not committed, any chance?????????? An Easter wedding would be wonderful
Bunnies with Easter bonnets.I know a milliner in NY called Kokin
Yellow polka dots
Last edited on Wed Dec 17th, 2008 05:30 pm by Potabasil
BUNNY: (After a long SILENCE to collect her thoughts.) My son's cat was killed by an American . . . hit and run . . .she was called Duchess. Americans are good at killing. Anyway he cried and cried and my heart was broken. So off we went again to the Humane Society for another Duchess. At the time I was not very well, and I came home with TWO WHITE RABBITS. All the neighbours were asking was I mad and all I could say to them was "I'm on Tablets. I'm on medicine. I'm on shrooms."
(After a pause to sigh and wipe her eye.)
Anyway between the jigs and the reels, we all love the two bunnies and they have a very happy life here right now not too far from the log fire in their house which looks like a little log cabin--mine looks like a chicken coop. They get to run around all morning when the fire is not lit because when it's lit they tend to get singed and burned and smell a bit like hassenpfeffer. They just love the Christmas trees.
They are sisters and I have not been able to name them yet, the kids keep changing their mind--and their names. I thought Snow and White maybe. Or Pink and Simply Red? Perhaps the Dixie Chicks?
They eat gourmet rabbit food, lovely hay and have this lovely ball. Looks like a rope or twine, but they love it, it's specially for bunnies
Maybe I’m going crazy, but an Easter wedding would be wonderful . . . bunnies with Easter bonnets. I know a milliner in NY . . . yellow polka dots. Flopsy and Mopsy? Frick and Frack? Wherefore art thou?
Bunnies make great pets. Mine (Nutmeg) is litter box trained . . . has the run of the house. He lets us live with him, actually--pellets and all. You'll understand in time. Google quackatude and flying shoes!
(Deviously.) I always thought Christmas trees weren't good for bunnies. That's why I have a fake white one--or faux blanc as we like to call it. I'd look into that. So I was going to finish and wondered who would be bridesmaid and the best man? Tweedle Dum or Tweedle Dee.
Relax about the trees. They run under them not eat them. They are real trees not faux blancs. They’ve got bugs to prove it. Rabbits don’t eat bugs.
Nutmeg eats everything in reach ... books, leather jackets, shoes ... the kids . . . maybe bugs.
Of course I'll be a bridesmaid ... I'll toss alfalfa hay into the air as I walk down the aisle. Don't ask me why. I just like alfalfa. Maybe it's his cowlick.
Since they're sisters, how about Joan and Jackie Collins? Or pick two of the Andrew sisters' names? Maybe Boogie and Woogie? Or Peppermint and Bon-Bon? Or for heaven's sake, how about Sister and Theresa?
Tiny Tim could be the Minister. Can you imagine his reading "Tip Toe Through the Tulips?"
It’s time I went back to the hospital. They don’t let us out for too long. Besides, they’re watching me. They’re always watching me.
(She exits toward the sanitarium with a mad glint in her eye.)
I was concerned. I saw, in my email, all the posts under this thread and I worried for you all. I worried that someone who logged on once and posted once, had you all sweating for him trying to find a monologue when I felt that it was fairly certain he'd forget to come back and you'd all be wasting your time.
Edd, what a wonderful monologue. Perfectly demented!
And Potabasil, I graciously accept your kind invitation. I’ll put it on my calendar right now.
And I have the perfect names for your sweet children’s delightful new bunny rabbits. I suggest you call them Alex and Forrest. Both charming names in and of themselves, but when put together become the name of a wonderful character played by the fabulous and celebrated actress Glenn Close.
I'm so glad you all enjoyed the monologue that you all pretty much wrote yourselves. While reading all your posts, I realized how beautifully it all connected. See, there is some truth to the assertion that we are all connected and all we need is a Supreme Editor.
Harvey, that pot of furry dementia you alluded to boiling on your stove has ruined my mid-day snack! Now I have to go to supper hungry.