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 Posted: Fri Apr 1st, 2011 07:30 pm
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nathan5110
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Mana: 
[size=]     Love to hear what you guys think!]

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[size=             ]                THE END     

 

CHARACTERS

 

Teresa and Bobby, both in their 20’s                                                    

 

 

 

TERESA (RUSHES IN)

 

Bobby the end of the world is in one minute

 

BOBBY (looking at his watch)

 

I know.

 

TERESA

 

What should we do?

 

BOBBY

 

We could make out or something.

 

TERESA

 

One minute to live and all you can think about is making out?

 

BOBBY

 

What else should I be thinking about?

 

TERESA

 

I don’t know. Something more serious.

 

BOBBY

 

Making out seems like a good way to go out.

 

TERESA

 

Allright…one kiss.

 

BOBBY

Nice!

 

(The pair kisses briefly)

 

TERESA

 

Now what?

 

BOBBY

 

Well, I don’t want to die a virgin.

 

TERESA

 

Too late for that.

 

BOBBY

 

Any last thoughts?

 

TERESA

 

I never saw Paris!

 

BOBBY

 

Don’t worry about it. Overrated euro trash.

 

(LIGHTS flicker and go dark)

 

(TERESA GASPS)

 

TERESA

 

Are we dead?

 

BOBBY

 

I think so.

 

TERESA

 

What is that in my hand?

 

BOBBY

 

Don’t worry about it.

 

 

THE END

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 Posted: Sat Apr 2nd, 2011 07:25 pm
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QuixotesGhost
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Mana: 
Maybe I'm reading this wrong or my mind is in the gutter, but is Bobby's dick what's in supposed to be in her hand on the closing line? If that's the case, I would probably be offended watching this as it seems to be condoning sexual agression towards women under this "boys will be boys" mentality (despite it being the end of the world).

I don't meant to bruise any feelings by saying that - it's merely what my honest response to it would be as an audience member.

 

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 Posted: Sat Apr 2nd, 2011 10:55 pm
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nathan5110
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Mana: 
Thanks for the helpful feedback. Your candor and pleasant choice of words were much appreciated. Oh, and please don't use the word "dick" as it offends me.

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 Posted: Thu Apr 7th, 2011 06:39 pm
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Darkja
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Mana: 
hmmm snarky. Well that is what was inferred right?

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 Posted: Fri Apr 8th, 2011 05:54 am
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QuixotesGhost
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Mana: 
Yeah, I read that too, Darkja. Nathan are you trying to imply that I have a thin skin, and am offended easily? Because, actually, nothing could be farther from the truth. I love dirty, smutty jokes and is one of the things I love about the medium of theatre, that theatre has the best, most creative, dirtiest jokes. For example, do you think Anthony Neilson's The Censor is a work that could be a big blockbuster motion picture? It's something I highly doubt.

However, this is the basic rundown of your script as I read it (please correct me if I'm wrong):

- End of the world is occurring. (I did like that it was casually referred to, and was precisely timed.)

- Bobby wants to get some action before the end.

- Teresa says no.

- Lights go out.

- Teresa: "What's this?"

- Bobby: "Shut up and give me a handjob."

Now it seems to me, that the intent of the writer is for me as an audience member to chuckle and go "Oh - that crazy Bobby, what will he get up to next!", but really my response is "Bobby! You ass! What's wrong with you?"

So, yeah, I was offended.

Though, Nathan, I have to admit I've been in the same boat -  I have this short script about two "musicians" whose performances consist of them performing cunnilingus on two women and using the resultant sexual moans to create musical arrangements. Half the people I've shown it to were in tears of laughter, the other half think it's the most virulently offensive and misogynist script they've ever read.

So yeah, I like dirty jokes, just thought this one was a bit messed up.

And like I said, I didn't mean to get confrontational with you, nathan, and hope I haven't discouraged you from posting more of your work.  

Last edited on Fri Apr 8th, 2011 05:55 am by QuixotesGhost

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 Posted: Fri Apr 8th, 2011 10:12 am
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Darkja
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Mana: 
Well if you write a dirty joke you have to be ready for people to be offended. Smut for smuts sake is not the sign of a mature writer. Smut put in context so less people are offended is. :-)

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 Posted: Fri Apr 8th, 2011 10:23 am
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QuixotesGhost
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Mana: 
Nah, I think smut for smut's sake if fine and is A-OK in my book. It's the intentionality and what the joke was seemingly intended to convey that offended me.

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 Posted: Fri Apr 8th, 2011 12:02 pm
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Paddy
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Mana: 
It is not the playwright's job - no pun intended - to be the moral compass. It is the playwright's job to tell a story. Pissing people off is good. Putting them them to sleep, or enciting phrases like, "It was lovely. It was charming. Very nice.", should scare you.

For me, the ending was a bit skitish. Bodumpdah ching.

There are so many possibilities for this piece.

Paddy

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 Posted: Fri Apr 8th, 2011 12:10 pm
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Paddy
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Mana: 
Quixotes Ghost said...

"Though, Nathan, I have to admit I've been in the same boat - I have this short script about two "musicians" whose performances consist of them performing cunnilingus on two women and using the resultant sexual moans to create musical arrangements. Half the people I've shown it to were in tears of laughter, the other half think it's the most virulently offensive and misogynist script they've ever read."

As if what...two women would hate having two men perform...and I do emphasize 'perform' cunnilingus on them AND create some beautiful imaginative music?

My misogynist - dosen't - do that.

Maybe it's just me.

Paddy

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