I'm having my first full-length go up in Feburary, a very silly show called "The Show Trial". While I was having a dramatic reading, one of the actors mentioned that the script was reference-heavy, and that it might be an interesting idea to have a "reference checklist" in the program. I really liked this idea, so much so, that I now want to have a sort of "reference scavenger-hunt' with accompanying prizes. Assemble whoever participated after the show to dole out prizes. So the real references will be in the check-list, but I also need some fake, possibly comedic references to throw out some flak. Here, this is the note:
It is the author's erudite and thoughtfully-considered opinion that theatre is (and should be) the entertainment of the elite. Unfortunately, escalating ticket prices, obtuse scripts, and the culture of theatre rapidly distancing itself from anything approaching relevance has failed to keep the proletariat out of seats. As such, the author has scoured the world in a series of adventures, each more implausible than the last, for strange and esoteric references with which to innduate the script - so that only the most educationally advantaged might have the unique privledge to actually laugh at any time during the production. What follows is a helpful checklist of references, mark them off as they come up in the performance, so as to prove that you are, in fact, a worthy theatre patron. Sumbit your answers to the box-office after the show and the worthiest theatre patrons will recieve special prizes.
1st place: Reimbursment for the price of your ticket.
2nd place: The unique opertunity to wear the author's shorn but quite impressive facial hair for a day. (Join a mustache-twirling competition! Pretend you're a minor lord of 19th-century Prussia! Weather-proof your face!) *
3nd place: A three-piece suit stitched entirely out of fine caviar. +
"The Show Trial" references the following:
[What follows are a few of the fake references I've come up with]
--- The dying words of St. Estrada who perished in the Alps searching for a trade route to India.
---Whatever it is that lies on the other end of the phone number promising a "good time" scrawled on the bathroom mirror at the local Carl's Jr (For the record, it's less of a good time and more of an apologetic time).
---The script's own foot notes (How obtuse!)
--- The author's previous works (How insufferable!)
--- The author's future works (How is this even possible!)
* Please treat it with the care that you would with any other holy relic.
+ Not actually true.
I was wondering if any of you guys might have some ideas for fake references that might be included in the program.
Also, concerning the facial hair, story about that: ages ago when I was still acting, in a show I was in there was a character named "Walrus Mustache", I was a bit miffed that I wasn't read for the role becuase I had pretty impressive facial hair and the actor they cast couldn't really grow any. So I shaved my mustache and beard, put it in a bag, and gave it to the director so he could construct a mustache for this other actor out of my own. He reluctantly accepted the "gift" and decided to hang the bag on his wall instead. It's now since become a tradition in our social circle that whenever anyone dramatically changes thier haircut or facial hair they put the hair in a bag, present it to this director, who then hangs it on his wall. It is this bag of facial hair which will be presented to the "lucky" 2nd place winner. If the 2nd place winner is sufficently wierd enough, they even might be conviced to put it on and we could take pictures of them wearing my old beard.