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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Critique my Poem > Wings of Doves

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 Posted: Wed Jun 13th, 2012 04:30 pm
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timmy
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Location: Oz, Minnesota USA
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Mana: 
 The pretty waitress the other evening
as she reached across my perch
to re-fill my half empty water goblet

and the tops of her breasts rose
like the wings of white doves;

I glimpsed for just a passing, once
a husband and a two time father:
my heart slumming, unshaven, unfed,
living on handouts from the young
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 Posted: Wed Jun 13th, 2012 09:14 pm
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in media res
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Mana: 
 timmy,

Been there.

Beautifully rendered.

IMR
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