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Stageplay help.  Rating:  Rating
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 Posted: Tue Jun 14th, 2016 01:39 pm
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horrormaker
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Location: Janesville, Wisconsin USA
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Mana: 
i wrote this stageplay and i need to know what works and what doesn't. this is the first stageplay i have ever done. just getting a feel for it.
thanks
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0Bx20tvh--jHsV0RFZFJiczVBdWM/view?usp=sharing

Please give feedback. The working title is A dinner with Murder. i have a different title, but i need some feed back. even if it's just one word.

Last edited on Fri Jun 17th, 2016 04:29 pm by horrormaker

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 Posted: Sat Jun 25th, 2016 12:36 am
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cm8007
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Mana: 
Hello! I started reading your piece and my first suggestion is to update the formatting for a uniform, cohesive, professional look. You can research standard stageplay format and accomplish it easily in MS word or another program of choice. I think you will get better feedback when it is easier to read. Good luck!

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 Posted: Wed Jul 6th, 2016 06:45 pm
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in media res
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Mana: 
First: I want to make clear, this is NOT a judgment on your play.

Merely on the FORMATTING, that interferes/prevents me from reading your play. Think of it as having a choice of driving over a new interstate highway or driving over a series badly cared for country, unpaved roads where I MAY get a couple of flat tires. Or a nicely paved road that will get me to my destination with pleasure of the trip. You make it very difficult to enter into the world of your play.

I totally agree with cm.

From a perusal, you seem to be writing in a wonderful style from the 1920's and 1930's.. A great era in Theatre in the USA. Verbal. Visual. But your formatting...in 2016 terminology...Sucks.

The first two lines of your first stage direction are all you need at the beginning of the play.

Cut the final three. If you absolutely need the Globe for something dramatic, you can keep that. Get rid of everything else.

No matter how GOOD your play is, your play is almost unreadable to a contemporary trained eye in it's present form. Your stage directions, unless they are dramatic, do not move the play forward. You are preventing/interrupting the dramatic movement of your play. Cut all the RC,UL etc. crap. No one writes with that stuff anymore. Stage directions are unnecessary unless the movements are intrinsic to the story.

You are trying to do the Director's and the Actors work.

Pick up a Playwriting book. Louis Catron has one called Elements of Playwriting.

Jeffrey Hatcher has one, but can not remember the title.

If you are in Janesville, you must have a State college or Junior College where you can - for limited dollars - get a basic introduction to Theatre.


Best,

IMR

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 Posted: Sun Aug 27th, 2017 11:59 pm
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Mana: 
By the way..."Your Welcome."

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